Everything Is Illuminated
by Babylon By Candlelight
Summary: It was bad enough watching her best friend destroy herself. But with Emma out of the hospital and Peter never knowing how to take a hint, Manny has realized just how very small being alone can make you feel.
1. I'm Not Stupid

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters. Any characters you do not recognize are entirely my own.

**_Author's Note:_** This happens right after Our Lips Are Sealed Part 2, and has nothing to do with the new season whatsoever, because frankly, nothing I've seen in the new season has impressed me at all. No pairings have as of yet been set; review please, and tell me what pairings you would prefer. I may or may not choose your pairing because I have a few in mind already, but I always love input.

Manny sighed as she exited the hospital room that her best friend was now forced to call home. No matter how many times she had told herself that Emma's problem had nothing to do with her, she couldn't help but feel terribly, terribly guilty. If she hadn't been so gung-ho on losing weight, on getting that agent to accept her, or with wanting approval from her peers in general, Manny was fairly certain that Emma would never have become anorexic. Now her best friend was hospitalized, and she felt utterly helpless. She sighed as she pushed a lock of dark hair out of her face, and started the long walk down to the ground floor of the emergency room so that she could head back home.

Home nowadays was the Nelson-Simpson residence. She hadn't been able to call the place where her parents lived "home" in a long while. Ever since she refused to give up her acting career and had been kicked out, Manny had been fighting a depression of her own. Oh, she hadn't become anorexic like Emma, even though after the blonde had been hospitalized, Manny had taken a good, hard look at the real reasons behind her diet. Still, after careful contemplation, she had come to realize that indeed it _was_ just to get healthy (or approved, because that was a driving factor she admitted), and not as a way of controlling her life. She didn't need a self-destructive way as Emma had.

She hated the fact that she did resent her best friend on many, many occasions. When she had said that life was easier for Emma because of her looks, she had meant it. Emma was a classic beauty - blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and a killer figure (or, at least, what had been killer; now, it was just skeletal). As much as it pained her to see her friend so depressed and now connected to feeding tubes, she couldn't help but feel that there was no real reason for it. Emma didn't have it bad at all, and just seemed determined to make her life hell. Sean had left, sure, but then, so had Craig. Rick _had_ almost shot her, but it was Jimmy who paid for it. And going down on Jay, well… in Manny's opinion, that was just plain stupid. And because, not in spite, of her actions with Craig, she could honestly say that what Emma had done was totally unnecessary – at least Manny had been in love with Craig. It was no excuse, but it made it a little less whorish. And Jay had never promised Emma anything.

_How horrible can you be, Manuela Elena Santos?_ She mentally criticized herself. _She's in the **hospital**; you should be trying to help her, not being two-faced. She'll have to deal with enough of that at school._ Manny sighed again, and opened the front door of the house, heading into the kitchen to fix a snack. Momentarily (or even longer, because it didn't really seem worth it anymore) forsaking her diet, she took four cookies from a jar and along with a glass of milk, sat in the living room and turned on the T.V. She was home by herself, of course. Snake and Spike were still with Emma, and Baby Jack was over at Joey's. She would have to pick him up soon, in about an hour and a half, but for now she was content to sit and stare mindlessly at the screen. She didn't want to think anymore. Thinking caused bitter, jaded thoughts and made her feel like an awful person. Thinking brought up memories that she didn't want to think about.

Her cell phone jangled with the song "Iron Man", which signaled that it was Craig calling. She sighed once again, and bitterly thought how she was beginning to sound like the wind. Manny had been avoiding Craig's calls for about a week; she knew that the next time the two talked, she would have to break up with him, and she wasn't looking forward to it. She still cared about the curly-haired rocker boy, but their relationship wouldn't be able to survive the long-distance, and so it was better to end it now. Besides… she had seen the way that he was beginning to look at Ellie. She knew that look all too well, and didn't want to be the one to be dumped this time. _She_ would end it on _her_ terms this time. And it would be the last time. Taking a deep breath, she picked up the cell phone, and prepared herself for the worst.

"Hello?"

"Manny!" She cringed at the cheerfulness in his voice. He wouldn't be that cheerful for long. "Hey baby, how's it going?"

"Oh… you know… same old Degrassi. Nothing really new." She knew that he deserved better than that half-assed answer, but she couldn't bring herself to inject the warm loving times that she had so often used. It wasn't right. "Craig… we need to talk."

"Uh-oh. That's never good. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, if I did." His voice sounded worried and almost panicky, and Manny could visualize how his face looked. She hated herself, but it was better than dragging it out. It was for the best.

"Craig, listen. I'm sorry, but I can't do this distance thing. I hate having to worry about whether or not you're going to cheat on me. And I hate not being able to see you. I don't think it's going to work out, and I'm ending it now instead of waiting for it to end on its own." There was silence on the other end, and Manny wondered if he had hung up. She was about to ask, when he spoke again.

"You're kidding, right? This is some sick April Fool's joke, isn't it?"

"Craig, it's January."

"So you're serious? You can't be serious, Manny! After all we've been through, you're leaving me because of the distance?" His tone changed to a shout, and she flinched, the anger emanating from Vancouver wrapping itself around her. "I can't believe you! Ashley was right; you _are_ just a fucking bitch!"

"What has Ashley got to do with this?" Manny couldn't believe what he just said, and now _she_ was angry. She felt as though he had physically slapped her.

"She called me last night, wanted to know if we were still together. And when I said yes, she said that it was stupid of me to stay with some whore, because you were just a bitch using me until someone else – oh, God, Manny! Is there someone else?"

"Craig! No, of course there isn't anyone else. I swear. There's just too much going on here, and I can't handle the stress of worrying about you, and worrying about Emma, and Peter, and everything. I have to do this or else I'm going to have a nervous breakdown."

"Fuck you, Manny." The last phrase was spat into the phone before his line went dead. Manny turned her phone off, staring at it. She lay back on the couch, staring at the T.V. screen once more, before beginning to laugh. It was not a happy sound.

"Well…" she remarked to the empty house, "that went well."

_---Scene Change---_

The atmosphere at the Nelson-Simpson house the next day was an excited, busy clamor of dusting, polishing, and vacuuming. Emma was coming home, and everyone was bustling around trying to get the place cleaned up nicely for her. Manny was in their basement room, making the last final adjustments to what appeared to be a spotless room. She had taken down the posters of models Emma had put up, and taken away all the diet plans, weight counts, and other such tips on losing weight that her friend had stashed in various places. It disgusted Manny a little to see just how committed Emma had been to starving herself, but she reminded herself that she had gotten help, and would continue therapy and treatment until she was better. If she ever _was_ better.

In no time at all, Snake drove up with Emma in the car, and there were hugs, tears, and exclamations of joy all around. Manny was thrilled for her best friend, and was ecstatic to see that Emma had put on at least five pounds, and was looking much healthier. The haunted look had yet to leave her eyes, but she was sure that in time, the sparkle would come back. Peter was with them, and though they had reached a sort of uneasy truce, Manny couldn't stand to be in his presence for more than ten minutes, and therefore opted to help Snake with kitchen duty. He understood her reluctance, and gave her many tasks to keep her busy in the kitchen.

At the end of the day when everyone had gone home and just the little family remained in the house, Emma and Manny were alone in their room, trying to figure out what to say. Emma was on her bed, staring at the ceiling, while Manny was on her side of the room on the little cot she had, wondering what there possibly was _left_ to say. Each of the two teenage girls had screwed up so badly so much, and hurt each other so often that it was a miracle they even could look at each other. No wonder the silence had become so awkward. Finally, Manny took the initiative and opened her mouth.

"So, you and Peter looked like you were having fun." Eurgh… not exactly original, and _extremely_ lame, but she did try.

"Yeah… you didn't have to hide in the kitchen the whole time, y'know. You should have come and talked to us. Peter doesn't hate you, you know."

Manny bit back her harsh response and stared at the ceiling, trying to formulate a less mean one. "Emma, I'm not really comfortable with him yet. I told you I'd respect your decision in dating him, but I can't be around him. It just reminds me of… well, you know."

"God Manny, haven't you gotten over that yet? It was like, last year," Emma snorted, rolling over in bed. Manny just stared at her in shock, tears filling her eyes. How could Emma just have said that? She was there for how much it had devastated Manny. "Sorry, that was bitchy of me," Emma continued, "how's Craig? I know you two haven't talked in awhile."

"Actually… we talked today. And I broke up with him." Her voice was calm, not showing the faintest bit of emotion. Although she had been the one to end things, Manny _did_ care about Craig very deeply.

"What? Why?" Emma's voice was surprised, though not exactly full of shock.

"You saw the way he looked at Ellie. I know he wants her. And I'd rather have him just date her outright and not cheat on me, if that makes sense."

"Yeah, it totally does. Still, it sucks. I'm sorry." And Emma _did_ sound sorry. Manny relaxed slightly, though the sting of the breakup still smarted. It did suck, but hey, what could she do about it? She didn't want to be cheated on, and Craig didn't have the greatest fidelity record. She would know better than anyone, except maybe Ashley. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Sorry Em, but right now I think I'd rather go to sleep." Manny turned over, gave her friend a smile, and closed her eyes. "G'night."

"Night, Manny."

There was silence in the room, broken only by the sound of Emma heading into the bathroom with her journal.

_I really hate being home. I can't let on that I would rather be anywhere but here… or even dead… because everyone seems to be so excited I'm back. In the hospital, I don't know. It was safer. No one could tell me to eat because it was all done for me. I hate being this fat blob. They want me to get better, but they don't understand that the only way I'll ever be happy is if I'm skinny. I weigh 115 lbs. I might as well be a woolly mammoth. They all say how good I look, but I know they're just making fun of me. If I could lose fifteen pounds, I'd stop. I'd be happy. I'd be beautiful…_

_-Emma_

_---Scene Change---_

Manny was jogging to The Dot a week later, back to her exercise routine. She had abandoned her diet; it was making her miserable, and didn't seem to be having any affect. The jogging, however, she had really gotten into. When she was running, she didn't have to think. She could ignore how unhappy she always seemed to be these days, or how Emma was acting as though she were a zombie. She tried not to monitor her friend's eating habits; it wasn't her business really, it was Spike and Snake who did that, and Emma didn't need to feel like the whole world was against her. Still, she watched. She watched and noticed the tiny bites, the moving around of food on her plate…Emma was eating, but it was painstakingly slow. Sometimes Manny wondered if Emma even wanted to live. It didn't seem like it.

When she reached The Dot, she took a seat at a window booth and ordered chicken strips with a side of onion rings, and water. She didn't want to get dehydrated after the mile run, and soda always made her feel sick after exercising. While she waited for her food, Manny watched the other customers come and go. It seemed to be a normal day, slow moving and predictable. Still, routine could be nice sometimes.

Jimmy and Ellie walked in; yes, they both _walked_. Jimmy had regained feeling in his legs shortly before graduation; it had taken a few grueling months of physical therapy that had been cruel to everyone involved, but it had been well worth it. Jimmy was able to walk again, if not a bit unsteadily. However, he became more coordinated each day, and pretty soon, his doctors said he might even be able to run at normal speeds. For him, that meant basketball would be a possibility again – if he wanted it to be, that is.

As usual, when Ellie and Jimmy were together, they were fighting. No one was sure if they were a couple or not; they both denied it, and lately it hadn't been hard to believe it. They hung out all the time, and never seemed happy. It was a wonder why they still tried to be friends; ever since Ellie turned Jimmy down, it had been stressful, and it was obvious that Ashley hadn't been helping the picture. She wanted Jimmy, and was positive that Ellie was decreasing her chances; she wasn't above bashing the redhead when Ellie wasn't around.

Manny tuned out the fighting as her order came. The door opened again, this time admitting someone she was less than thrilled to see.

"What are you doing?" she hissed as Peter Stone sat down in her booth across from her, smirking cockily.

"Just admiring the scenery," Peter grinned, leaning forward to stare at her suggestively.

"Aren't you supposed to be harassing Emma instead of me?" Manny glared at him, folding her arms across her chest. She heartily wished she had chosen a better shirt to run in today; this one just resembled a bigger sports bra with a light windbreaker thrown over it. She quickly zipped it up, her eyes cold and unforgiving.

"But my dear, you're so much more appealing!" His voice was jovial, but there was a predatory look in his blue eyes. "Come on Manny, why don't we give it another go, for old time's sake?"

"Which old time? When you humiliated me in front of the school, or when you slammed me into a locker?" She sighed, and leaned back against the booth's cushion. "Leave me alone, Peter. I can't do anything about the fact that you're dating my best friend, but I sure as hell don't have to put up with you on my own time. Back off." She sighed, and as her waiter passed the table, she asked for a doggy bag. Peter showing up had made her lose her appetite, but she figured she could finish it at home. When everything was boxed up, Peter still apparently hadn't gotten the hint to leave, so Manny stood up and walked off. She had just barely made it out the door when he caught up to her, grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to face him.

"Look, I'm not done with you. I don't take rejection well, and I already told you that you're what I want. I always get what I want." His tones were mean, harsh, and the gleam in his eyes had become more frightening.

"I don't care what you want, Peter. I think you're just a little boy who can't handle being told 'no', and if you ask me, you probably _have_ to have a big ego to make up for not having anything where it counts." Sarcasm flowed heavily through Manny's voice as she tried to walk away.

"You stupid bitch!" Peter yelled, trying to yank her back to him. In a flash, Manny reached out and punched him square in the eye before bringing her elbow around to jab his throat. Peter fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

"I'm not _stupid_," she spat before walking away, leaving him there, squirming in pain.


	2. You Know How It Feels

**_Disclaimer:_** No part of Degrassi is owned by me, except a cast member's soul. But I signed a disclosure contract upon obtaining it, so you'll always wonder which one I own…

Jimmy walked out of The Dot after he noticed Peter and Manny's confrontation. Instead of stopping to see if the blond boy needed help, he merely stopped for a moment, and just looked at him.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Peter tried to sound cocky, but it was hard when you had a black eye forming, a punched throat, and a nose that may or may not have been broken. Manny may have been a small, slender girl, but she _had_ grown up with a brother ten years older than her, and Gabriel Santos had made sure his little sister knew how to fight against men who otherwise would have killed her.

"Dude, you're an idiot. Can't you take a hint that she's not interested in you?" Jimmy and Manny didn't really know each other (he was friends with Craig and Spinner; that was about the extent of his knowledge), but he had always thought she was a sweet, pretty young woman who didn't deserve the crap that happened to her. "I'd forget it if I were you. Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"You're the idiot. I don't want Manny as a girlfriend. Just as a piece of ass once or twice." It was obvious that Peter didn't know when to shut up – that or he just saw absolutely no problem with being brutally honest.

"Oh, that's real nice, Stone. She deserves better than that," Jimmy countered. He didn't know why he was sticking up for a girl he barely knew; it was probably because she wasn't around to do it, and nobody else would. He didn't think any girl deserved to be treated the way Peter was treating her, and especially not one who had already been through so much. It would make any decent person angry.

"Jimmy, she's just a whore. She deserves what she gets."

Unfortunately, it was not Peter's day. Jimmy was already angry from the fight with Ellie, and hearing Peter talk that way about a girl who wasn't even around to defend herself sent him over the edge. Eighteen years of basketball, track, and a year of physical therapy was behind the punch that Jimmy threw at the other boy's stomach, and sent him toppling.

"What the _fuck_ was that for!?"

"Listen to me punk – stay the hell away from Manny unless you want more of that." Jimmy's voice was low and threatening, and his eyes were deadly serious. Peter shrank back from Jimmy and merely nodded. "Good. Now get out of here." The blond picked himself up once more and headed to his car, driving off.

"You didn't have to do that." A female's voice from a few yards away broke through Jimmy's thoughts, and he turned to see none other than Manny Santos standing there, looking mildly amused. "I mean, I got him pretty good, and he probably wouldn't have bothered me for awhile after that."

"Yeah, well… I hate to hear anyone talk about a girl that way. Sometimes someone just has it coming," he answered, a bit embarrassed that she had seen what just happened. He didn't know what it had been about at all; like he thought early, the two weren't exactly friends. Still, it had seemed the right thing to do at the time, even if he was totally unsure about it now.

"Well, thanks. I mean, it wasn't necessary, but I do appreciate it." She too looked a little embarrassed; she didn't like it when guys she wasn't friendly with stood up for her like that. The last time it happened, it had been Craig, and it had just ended badly, as proved the day before. She always had to wonder about ulterior motives, since her reputation hadn't been the greatest lately. Never mind that she had gone back to wearing a full wardrobe complete with tasteful clothes that didn't leave skin hanging out. She had been labeled the 'school slut' for a reason, and no one would ever let her forget it. Reputations were easier to earn than to shed. At least there would only be one more year of this before she would never have to look back.

"Why did you come back here anyway?" After all, Jimmy was pretty sure that she wasn't concerned for Peter's well-being, considering the fact that she probably had broken his nose.

"Oh, I left my chap stick in the booth…" she trailed off at the disbelieving look Jimmy gave her. "Fine, I heard you and Peter arguing, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay. He doesn't exactly fight fair."

"Well, thanks for being concerned and all, but I'm fine," Jimmy replied stiffly, slightly offended that she didn't think he could take Peter.

"It's not that Jimmy, it's just that I wouldn't put it past him to kick your legs out from under you or something. And that would probably do more damage to you than to him." After all, everyone knew just how hard Jimmy's physical therapy had been, and she didn't want all his work to be undone just because Peter was an asshole who didn't have any morals. Unfortunately, this line of thinking didn't occur to Jimmy, who simply became angrier.

"Yeah, and you couldn't have me becoming a cripple again on your behalf, could you? Whatever helps you sleep at night, Santos." With that, Jimmy turned and stalked back into The Dot, the door slamming behind him. Manny sighed, and turned back the way she came, jogging towards the house once again. She was angrier than before now, and she wasn't sure why. After all, she _was_ just trying to watch out for Jimmy, the way he had been for her. How was it any different from what he was doing? _Probably because the school whore needs all the help she can get,_ Manny thought bitterly as she reached the front door.

_---Scene Change---_

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Emma asked as Manny stormed down the stairs, the basement door closing with a loud _THUD_.

"Nothing," came the snappy reply as the brunette threw herself into the bathroom, the sounds of a shower coming through the door.

"Sorry I asked…"

About twenty minutes later, Manny stepped out of the shower, and wondered if she had fallen through a wormhole as an angry Emma stormed towards her. She finished getting dressed as the blonde stood there, tapping her foot and looking confrontational. Finally, Manny couldn't stand it anymore, and bluntly asked, "What?"

"Did you punch Peter earlier?" Emma demanded, rage in her voice.

"Um, yeah…"

"Any particular reason?" She was trying to control just how angry she sounded, but it was getting harder and harder, since Manny seemed so calm and nonchalant about it.

"Because he was a total jerk who implied that he wanted to sleep with me, then called me a slut!" Manny answered, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're lying! That's exactly what he said you'd say. He said it was because you tried to come on to him, and when he rejected you, you punched him. Manny, how could you do that to me?" Emma sounded on the verge of tears, while Manny simply stared at her in disbelief.

"How can you believe him over me? I'm your best friend!"

"Yeah, and he's my boyfriend, whom you've already lied to me about before!" Emma rejoined, glaring at Manny.

"I can't believe you Em. I really can't believe you." Her eyes filled with tears and she ran upstairs before the tears spilled over. This day was going horribly.

_Today Manny punched my boyfriend. I can't believe she would do that to me. She tried to take him from me once before, and now that we're actually together, she can't help but try to again. It's because she thinks just because she's thinner and prettier than me, she can have whoever she wants. Well, I'll show her. I can lose ten pounds in two weeks, and then she won't dare._

_-Emma_

_---Scene Change---_

Jimmy went home to an empty house, as always. Ever since he started walking again, his parents started to be home less and less. It wasn't as though it was a new thing, but it still disappointed him when he thought that it would change. Still, it was always nice to have his privacy, and now he got as much as he ever wanted. More than he wanted. He fixed himself a sandwich since he didn't feel like ordering out for pizza or Chinese, and sat in front of the TV, putting on the latest basketball game. It held his attention for an hour or so, but after that he became restless and started pacing around the apartment. How _could_ Manny have said that to him? It was bad enough that he had been in a wheelchair for so long, but now even the girl that was known as the school tramp was feeling sorry for him. Like she would ever know how it felt to be judged just because you were different than you used to be. Because of something you couldn't help.

Then again… she had gotten pregnant. And while she could help sleeping with Craig, he hadn't told her that he and Ashley were still together. And she couldn't help getting pregnant at all, especially if Craig hadn't used a condom and hadn't let her know. Plus, even though her decision may not have been one everyone agreed with, it had been what she thought the right one was. And she knew her own abilities to be a parent. Everyone had judged her just because of the abortion, and he had thought at the time it was wrong. Maybe she did know how he felt. At least to an extent. The thought both comforted him and made him feel guilty. He shouldn't have yelled at her earlier; she was just being concerned.

What could he do about it, though? The two didn't interact, and he was just assuming that she even was affected by what he said. She probably had forgotten about it by now, and so should he. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal, anyway…

_---Scene Change---_

A few hours of just random, aimless walking had led Manny back to the house, which she entered and headed downstairs. Emma was there, but seemed to be in a better mood, even offering her a smile as she stretched out on the cot, though the two didn't speak. Manny didn't know what to do anymore. She was worried about Emma's anorexia, she was worried about what Peter might do to her, and what Jimmy had said hurt her very deeply. It wasn't like she didn't know anything about being judged. He wouldn't feel bad about saying it though, and she shouldn't dwell on it. He didn't even know her well enough to judge her, and now she was determined to blow it off.

What she needed was a style change. Not a drastic one like the one that had started all the bad events in her life, but a small one. Her dark hair had grown out to her waist by now; perhaps she should change it somehow. She loved the length, and didn't really want to cut it, but maybe a perm was in order. Manny had always preferred her hair curly, but it took too long to make it so every morning. Yes, a perm was definitely the solution. She went upstairs and dialed her beautician's number, setting up an appointment for later that day, since she knew that business there had been slow lately.

Entering the salon, Manny breathed deeply, loving the smells of shampoo and conditioner. Her stylist, Elaine, took her back right away and wrapped her hair in the foil, putting her under the dryer. It took about two hours to do her entire head, but Manny left the salon that day feeling beautiful again, the curls bouncing just below her shoulders. The world looked brighter now, and – CRASH!

"Ow!" Manny cried as she found herself flying through the air before landing heavily on the cement sidewalk, wincing in pain. As she pulled herself up, she found herself face-to-face with none other than Jimmy Brooks. Oh, how it figured. "Nice, Jimmy. Do you make it a habit to stare up at the sky when you should be watching where you're going?" Her voice was probably a bit more sarcastic than it needed to be, but her entire back was in extreme pain, and pain always made her cranky.

"Oh, man. I'm so sorry Manny, are you okay?" Since Jimmy was quite a bit bigger than Manny, he hadn't fallen, but merely stumbled.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it," she answered, dusting herself off. "What?" she asked as she noticed him staring at her, eyes wide.

"You just… wow. You look really good. What did you get done to your hair?"

"I got it permed. Thanks, I guess. I like it too," Manny answered, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You're welcome. Hey, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. I took what you said the wrong way, and just kinda flipped." Jimmy apologized embarrassedly, looking at the ground.

"Really? I so didn't notice," Manny answered, still quite sarcastically, but when she realized that he was being sincere, she softened. "It's okay, really. I mean, it hurt, but hey, worse has been said, and much more recently."

"So we're cool?" He didn't know why this was such a big deal to him, but somehow didn't want her to be mad.

"I wasn't aware there _was _a 'we' to be cool with, but yeah, I'm not mad," she answered, before smiling slightly. "Anyway, I gotta get home. I guess I'll see you when school starts."

"Yeah, see ya." Manny walked away, her curls bouncing as she took each step. Jimmy stared after her, and unconsciously licked his lips. _My, **my**, Manny Santos, how you **have** grown…_


	3. Super Sleuth

**_Disclaimer: _** Degrassi is still not mine.

That night, Jimmy took a long, cold shower. He couldn't get the image of Manny's smirk and bouncing curls out of his head, and while it wasn't a particularly _bad_ image, it was causing problems. After drying off and putting on boxers, he lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Her words from earlier echoed in his mind: _Worse has been said, and more recently._ He couldn't help but wonder what had happened. Had Emma said something that had hurt her, or was it what Peter said? Somehow, Jimmy doubted that anything that whiny-boy had said really would have any affect on Manny; she seemed much better than that. Still, he concluded as he settled down to go to sleep, it really wasn't any of his business anyway.

The next morning when Jimmy woke up, he was not alone. Though how exactly Ashley Kerwin had gotten past the alarm system of his house _and_ into his bedroom without him ever knowing was beyond him. He started awake, and pulled the sheets tight around him, painfully aware of the fact that all he was wearing was jockey shorts, which didn't hide very much.

"Ash –" he cringed as his voice came out a high pitched yelp. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Ashley. What are you doing here? It's eight o'clock in the morning!"

"What, I can't visit my good buddy Jimmy?" There was something about the way she said it that led Jimmy to believe there was more than just her short explanation. So he simply waited, just staring at her. "So I hear you and Manny had a little run-in yesterday.

Jimmy groaned loudly. "Is _that_ what this is about? Ashley, first off, Manny and I hardly talk at all, and the only reason we talked yesterday is because – why the hell am I even explaining myself to you? It's not your business who I talk to."

"Yes it is! You're my –" she stopped short, face flushing pink.

"What? I'm your what? I'm not your _boyfriend_, Ashley." Jimmy's voice wasn't nasty, but it had the inflection of one who was running out of patience very quickly.

"And I don't see why not! I still love you, Jimmy, and I thought you cared about me too."

"I do care about you, but not that way. You just want to be with me because you can't be with Craig, and I'm nobody's second best, Ashley. Not even yours." His voice had changed from the impatient, annoyed tone to one gentle, but firm. His eyes held understanding, but they didn't waver when Ashley's own eyes filled with tears.

"This is because of Ellie, isn't it?" Her voice quavered, and she looked as though she was going to cry, hit something, or both.

Jimmy laughed wryly, "Ellie doesn't want me either, Ash. She's joined the We Love Craig Fan Club too, and I guess I can understand that." He sighed, looking almost defeated. "I know you're lonely. Hell, I am too. But we have too much history, _good_ history, to end up just using each other to not be alone." Jimmy shook his head as Ashley gave him a pleading look. "No, Ashley. It's wrong, and we'd just end up hating each other. We've come too far to ruin our friendship over this."

She merely stared at him for a moment, before trying to speak. "I just… I thought…I've gotta go, Jim. See you around," and walked out, like it hadn't been she who had entered his room while he was asleep, as though _he_ had intruded on _her_.

Jimmy shook his head and lay back in bed, wondering if he would ever have a day that didn't involve a confrontation of some kind. He knew that The Talk with Ashley had been coming for awhile, but that didn't mean he enjoyed doing it. He was so tempted to be with her just to _be_ with someone; ever since he and Hazel broke up, he missed that companionship. But if he was going to be with someone, it would have been Ellie, and she didn't want him. Even Ashley didn't want him, as much as she would have convinced herself she did. He didn't want a fake relationship after one so real with Hazel; it would have been cheap and left both parties heartbroken.

What he didn't understand was why everyone wanted Craig. Sure, Craig was a pretty cool guy, but he wasn't trustworthy. How many times had he hurt Ashley, and then led Ellie on? Hell, even Manny couldn't help but go back to him, and she of all people had the most reason to hate him. Was it the eyes, or the Rocker-Boy Attitude? What did Craig have that he didn't? He hadn't ever hurt someone purposefully; he had even been pseudo-friends with Rick at the end, before Spinner and Jay pulled that crap. Maybe it _was_ because he was the dependable sort; no one ever had to worry about Ole Faithful Jimmy doing anything to hurt them. Why was it that girls always wanted someone who would most likely treat them badly? He saw something very wrong with that, but didn't see any way to change it. Maybe he was simply meant to be alone…

_---Scene Change---_

Little did Jimmy know that across town, Manny Santos was thinking almost exactly the same thing. Why _was_ it that she couldn't keep a boyfriend? She and Spinner had just sort of fizzled out; he wasn't interested in anything but the sex. She wanted someone who cared about _her_, not her ass. It seemed that with all the decent guys already taken, and the single guys being jerks, that she would never find someone to be with. Manny knew that she didn't really _need_ to be with someone during high school, and that there was plenty of time for dating in college where no one would know her past, but it still sucked being alone. JT was probably the last decent guy she dated, and even he had crossed the line when he bought that penis pump. A smile came to her face as she remembered walking in on him…err… pumping. He had been so embarrassed; _she_ had been so embarrassed. Now, it was funny to look back on, but it was also a bit sad. That had probably been the best relationship she'd ever had. There was something wrong when you looked back on dating JT Yorke and felt nostalgic. Not that he was a bad guy or anything, but he just wasn't for her. He and Liberty were light-years better than the two of them ever could have been, and she accepted that.

Well, that was enough of that. She was going to stop moping around in bed, and get up and _do_ something today. Manny brushed her teeth quickly, pulled her now-curly hair into a high pony-tail, and put on her jogging clothes. After heading upstairs and biting into an apple, she yelled out to Snake that she was going out, and would be back in an hour, then headed out. She started out at a quick walk to warm up, and then moved into a fast jog. Her peripheral vision caught the site of trees whipping past, and a smile came to her face. This was why she loved running; she felt faster than the wind, and – oh crap.

This time, a collision was avoided merely by Manny stopping in time. "Jesus _Christ_, do you ever look where you're going?" She exclaimed, glaring at Jimmy. He seemed startled, and looked at her as though he had just noticed she was there, which he probably had.

"Sorry Manny. I just have a lot on my mind, and wasn't paying attention," he said quickly. "And why is it that I'm always the one apologizing, when it's your fault too?" Jimmy added, glaring right back at her.

Manny skillfully avoided the question, and continued talking, "And what was just so important that the ever-graceful Jimmy Brooks made a _faux-pas_ in his coordinated walking?" Her voice wasn't mean this time, but teasing with an undercurrent of concern.

"Just… Ashley problems," he answered, knowing that the Kerwin girl wasn't Manny's favourite person, and didn't want to go into details about something even he didn't want to think about. "What about you? You seemed pretty distracted yourself."

"Craig issues," was her short reply, which surprised Jimmy.

"What? I thought everything was great between you two!" He exclaimed, cocking his head inquisitively.

"Oh, they are, if you define "great" as, we broke up and he called me a slut/bitch," Manny replied cheerfully, though it was obvious just how hurt by this she really was. Jimmy looked stunned, and moved beside her, putting his arm around her shoulder and moving her to the nearby bench to sit.

"Is that what you meant yesterday, when you said 'worse has been said'?" he asked curiously, keeping his arm around her shoulder comfortingly. Manny merely nodded and put her elbows on her thighs, resting her head in her hands. "Oh, man, I'm sorry. That was really fucked up of him to say."

"I knew he wouldn't take it well… I mean, I just would rather break up with him than find out three months from now he cheated on me with Ellie, you know?"

"Ah, so you knew about that, huh?" Jimmy asked; he knew that Ellie liked Craig, of course, but he hadn't known that Craig felt the same way until just know. He figured that Manny would know better than anyone, though, and took her word for it.

"Oh, please Jimmy, anyone with eyes knew about it," she cried, flinging her arms up in the air. "Why does this always happen to me? What's wrong with me? I wish that someone would tell me why I'm so easy to forget about so I could, I don't know, _fix_ it!" Her voice held despair, and the absolute sadness in her eyes nearly broke Jimmy's heart.

"I don't know why, Manny. It happens to me, too. Ashley tried to get together with me today just so that _she_ wouldn't be alone, and it was one of the hardest things for me to do in turning her down, because I don't want to be alone either." He wasn't quite sure why he was telling her this; maybe the tears streaming down her face made it easy to open up to her, because she was hurting too. Or maybe he was relieved to know that he wasn't alone in feeling this way, and wanted to let her know that she wasn't either. Did it really matter what his reasons were, anyway? The fact was, this was the best conversation he had had in a very long time, and he wasn't about to let it slip away.

Manny laughed bitterly at what he just said, her eyes cold. "Yeah, that figures. At least I know how to be by myself. Ashley can't function unless she has someone worshiping her every step. And she calls _me_ a tramp." Her head jerked up suddenly, eyes wide. "Oh, Jimmy, I'm sorry. I know you and Ash are kind of… well, that you care about her a lot."

He shrugged, "No, that's pretty much what I've thought lately. Ashley just wants me because she can't have Craig."

Manny grinned, a wry sort of sadness in her face. "Oh, if she can get him, she can have him. Craig has never had any problems being second best to anyone. And he loves it when people fight over him. Ellie, Ashley, and whatever little fan girls stalk him in Vancouver can fight over him. He'll die of joy if he gets to watch a cat fight because of him." Surprisingly, she didn't sound upset or angry, but rather amused.

"And that doesn't piss you off at all?" Jimmy asked, a bit shocked.

"Oh, it does. But it's actually more that I'm embarrassed. If it were two or three months ago, I would have been part of that fight. Now, it's like… eh, whatever. I'm done being his little one-girl groupie. Does that make sense?"

Jimmy nodded, watching her closely. Manny wasn't at all what he had expected. Anything he had ever heard of her had been insults, or implications that she was just a stupid little girl who would take any guy who threw himself at her. And if no guy would, then she would do the throwing. What he didn't know was that she was an intelligent, quick-witted young woman who had self-respect, even when it seemed she had no reason to. She was intriguing, to say the least. "Yeah, actually, it does. You want someone who actually cares about _you_, not what you can do for them."

"Exactly," she replied, and then fell silent. This was the most she had talked about Craig and her feelings towards their relationship since it had begun, and she found herself all talked out.

"Well…" the silence had become awkward now, and Jimmy glanced at his watch. It was nearly noon, which meant he was due to meet Spinner at The Dot. "I gotta go, I guess."

"Yeah, me too. Emma's probably wondering where I am by now," she agreed. _Yeah, right_, she added silently,_ that is, if Peter's not around convincing her I'm the world's most back-stabbing, heinous bitch._ _As if I haven't been there for her every time she needed me. I'm _only_ her best friend…_

"Manny?" Jimmy's voice broke through her mental contemplations, and she shook herself.

"Hmm? Sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?" She smiled, as though to make up for her wandering mind.

"I asked if maybe… well, if you'd want to hang out later?" He shrugged, grinning a bit abashedly. "Just as friends, I mean. Maybe go to a movie, or hit the food court at the mall."

"Why?" she asked bluntly. "You and I aren't exactly friends, in case you haven't noticed."

"Well… I don't know, really. We keep running into each other, literally, and I thought it'd be nice to talk without physical injury for once. You don't have to, it was just an idea." He shrugged again; it wasn't a big deal if she said no. But it was his last year at Degrassi, and while he and Spinner were friends again, it would be nice to have a few more than he used to. Besides, he didn't like mysteries, and Manny was one he intended to figure out, one way or another.

"Sure, why not?" Manny grinned, giving a sort of 'I give up' gesture. "If you're determined, then I suppose I'll make it easy on myself. What time?"

"Uhm… how about 7:00?" Jimmy was sort of surprised that she had agreed so easily, but then again, she had been surprising him for the past two days. "I can pick you up, if you want."

"Nah, that's okay. I can walk; since my jog was interrupted so rudely this morning, I'll need to catch up on it then. I like running, in case you're wondering, and no, I don't think I'm fat," she added, seeing his expression and his mouth about to comment. He snapped it shut immediately, and she smirked. "Anyway, I'm gonna head out now, I'll see you at seven. How about we meet at the Food Court, and decide what we're going to do from there?"

"Uh… Okay... Bye, then." Jimmy shook his head as Manny jogged off, trying to clear his thoughts. She was _good_. And she was making his head spin. Sighing, he walked off in the direction of The Dot, trying to keep his mind on the day ahead, and off of 7:00.

_---Scene Change---_

Manny ran down the stairs to her room, and slammed the door shut, wondering why she felt vaguely like squealing. It was just Jimmy, and it wasn't a date. Maybe it was because it was the first time anyone had specifically asked _her_ to do anything, and it was –

Oh, _sick_.

"Hey, guys, half of this is my room too! Go make out at Peter's house or something," she said loudly, disgusted by the sight of Peter shirtless and Emma's shirt halfway there. "Seriously, I live here too. Come on."

"Oh, God! Sorry Manny!" Emma exclaimed, forcing her shirt back down. "It's just that you were later than usual from jogging, and Peter showed up and…Peter! Put your shirt back on!" Peter obliged, but glared at Manny.

"What, you can't take the sight of someone else being happy, Manny?" He asked, smirking at her.

"Good_bye_, Peter," was her only response as she shoved him up the stairs and slammed the door behind him, sighing. "Sorry Emma, it's just… you know."

"Yeah, I do. And I'm sorry about last night; I just kind of freaked. I know that if you feel anything for Peter, it's the blinding hatred of a thousand suns, as I believe you put it." She shrugged. "Listen… I don't know what to believe about what happened, so I'm just going to forget about it. I know you're my best friend, but he's my boyfriend, and I don't want to get in the middle of your little feud thingy."

"But Emma, he –"

"No, Manny, please just drop it. Anyway, you're looking significantly happier than you were this morning. What's up?" Emma asked, smiling.

"Oh… nothing, really. Just… I'm meeting Jimmy at the mall later." Manny mumbled, knowing that Emma was going to take it the wrong way. "It's _not_ a date, so stop grinning! We've just run into each other a lot lately in the past few days, so we're going to hang out on our own terms this time. That's _it_. We're just kind of becoming friends."

"Hey, I never said you weren't," the blonde replied, but she was still grinning. "Jimmy Brooks, huh? Chalk up one more reason for Ashley to hate you, not that she feels she needs any reason."

"Jimmy and I talked about that, and he said he told her to back off. _Not_ that it matters Emma, because we're just friends – not even friends yet! I'm not interested in him, and besides, I just broke up with Craig. I don't want another relationship yet, if at all." Manny defended herself, knowing what her best friend was thinking.

"I know, Manny! Geez, don't be so testy. I'm just glad that you're getting out of the house for more than jogging, that's all. I hate to see you mope around. All your time lately has been with me, trying to make sure I'm okay, and I'm glad you're getting your life back. I think it's good, and you deserve it." Emma smiled, and gave Manny a one-armed hug. "Now, I'm going to go after Peter, see if he wants to do anything today. I'll be back in an hour or so."

Manny watched Emma go up the stairs, and sighed. Peter was a creep, it was true, but at least she had someone. Even when Manny was with Craig, she felt alone. Still, being alone was better than being taken for granted. Maybe if she didn't look so hard, someone would find her.

As if on cue, her cell phone rang. She picked it up, not bothering to look at Caller ID.

"Hello? Oh… Hi, JT."


	4. Remember That It's Not A Date

**_Disclaimer:_** Degrassi is not mine, but my birthday _is_ coming up…

**_Author Note:_** I'm just guessing at why Towerz and Liberty broke up, because he just sort of disappeared from the show. And my explanation is as good as any. Please review this; constructive criticism is highly appreciated, as well as what you like and don't like about this. I'm taking the time to write this, so I'd really like it if you could take the time to write a few sentences about what you'd like to see added or taken out.

"What do you want?" Manny was surprised to hear JT's voice on the other end of the phone; it had been nearly a year since the two had spoken, and she couldn't imagine why he'd be calling her now. She didn't think his little girlfriend would like it, and she also couldn't imagine that JT had grown enough balls to stand up to his little dominatrix Liberty.

"Liberty left me." Manny blinked at the bluntness of his tone, and the lack of any emotion whatsoever. It explained a lot of things though – he didn't _have_ to worry about the rant Liberty would go on later when she found out he had been talking to her. It still didn't explain one thing, however.

"And… you called me?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, Emma's so busy with Peter these days, Toby isn't exactly… well… he doesn't understand these things yet, as the last girlfriend _he_ had was Kendra in grade what, eight? I just needed someone to talk to." JT sounded quietly desperate, and Manny's heart went out to him – in her mind, despite everything that happened, he would always be loud, obnoxious, socially stunted JT who tried to grow up too fast, and had somehow managed it.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice softening.

"She… you remember how she and Towerz dated a couple years back?" Manny nodded, even though JT couldn't see it, of course. He seemed to sense the response however, and kept talking. "Well, he came back from wherever-it-was he went, Quebec or something like that. And he wanted her back, and she left without even looking back."

Manny winced. She knew how hard that was, since Craig hadn't even considered staying in Toronto, as far as she knew. Still, _she_ had broken up with _him_, and poor JT had gotten dumped. "That sucks JT, I'm so sorry. I broke up with Craig a couple days ago, too."

"Yeah, I heard about that. Emma and I talked, actually. She ran off with Peter as soon as he showed up, though." JT sounded upset still, though less than he had when the phone first rang.

"That'd be Emma, these days. I can't tell if she means to be the subservient little girlfriend, or just likes being a doormat. And Peter keeps…" Manny trailed off, but decided that it was JT; he would at least listen. "Peter keeps following me around. It's not like he's stalking me, but he just won't leave me alone. It's like he still wants me, but I don't think he does. I think he's just trying to scare me."

"Creepy. I doubt he'll do anything to you though; he wants Emma too much to risk losing her. I don't think he actually likes her, mind you. He just wants someone to adore him, and Emma needs someone to obsess over. They're this sick little co-dependant couple."

Manny blinked, "Wow. That was surprisingly intelligent, JT. Have you been taking the adult classes at night, or something?" She laughed, and was relieved to hear JT chuckle too.

"Nah, I'm just actually studying this year. What with my wanting to graduate, and all. Funny how that works." She could practically hear him smirking, before his tone changed and became serious. "Thanks for talking to me Manny, seriously. It helps a lot."

"Anytime, Yorke."

The two talked for about twenty more minutes, about things that they had missed in each other's lives. Manny was surprised to hear about JT's remarkable grades in classes he had been struggling in, and he was amazed that Manny had passed physics. After awhile, the conversation lagged, and JT's voice took on a quiet, somber tone.

"I saw you yesterday, you know. You were talking to Jimmy," he remarked.

"Yeah, what about it?" She replied curiously, tilting her head (still forgetting that JT couldn't see her through the phone line).

"You got your hair permed. It looked really good, and I was going to go over and tell you just how gorgeous you looked, but you didn't see me before you left."

"Oh… thanks." Manny shifted uncomfortably. She hated it when JT sounded like that; it made her remember the way he used to look at her while they were dating. It had always made her feel like he wanted to devour her, to _own_ her.

"Yeah… well… I uhm… gotta go. I'll talk to you later, Manny." He hung up so fast that Manny didn't get a chance to respond, and left her staring at the phone.

"Damn," she remarked as she replaced the receiver in its holder, and stretched out on her bed. She was exhausted, and for some reason, thinking about Jimmy. For the past three days, it was something she had caught herself doing more and more. This time, her mind wandered to the way his arms caught her when he had nearly knocked her over – it was a secure, strong, sure feeling, and it made her light-headed. She sighed – she was most likely hungry; she hadn't eaten today, and it was nearly noon.

Manny trudged upstairs listlessly and bit into an apple, plopping down at the kitchen table with a glass of water. Glancing at the clock frequently, she wondered when Emma was going to be back from doing God-knows-what with Peter. She wasn't sure, but she had a sneaking suspicion about why JT _really_ called her, and it had to do with Jimmy. Manny realized she might be overreacting, but there was something in his tone when he had mentioned seeing her with the other boy, something possessive. It worried her. Still, she couldn't do anything about it now, and as the aforementioned best friend was currently M.I.A., worrying would only stress her out.

Besides… in seven hours, she had a date-that-technically-wasn't-a-date with one Jimmy Brooks.

Manny smiled, despite trying to hold it back. Maybe this day wasn't a total loss, after all. She could look forward to seven o'clock, and in the meantime, pretend that the phone call had never happened. She was probably wrong anyway; JT couldn't possible like her after all this time. She wasn't _that_ hard to get over.

_---Scene Change---_

Jimmy and Spinner were playing basketball like usual, but Jimmy's legs were starting to ache. "Dude, I need a break," he called before sitting down on the bench on the sidelines of the court, stretching his legs in front of him. He popped open his water bottle and gulped half of it down, turning to Spinner. "Got a date with Manny Santos tonight," he commented, regaining his breath.

"Seriously? Thought she was still with Craig," Spinner responded, shrugging. Manny and he had never been anything serious, and while they had fun together, it didn't bother him that she had moved on about three times since dating him. Good for her, he figured. Whatever.

"Nah man, broke up with him," Jimmy answered, absent-mindedly dribbling a basketball at knee-height. "Only, I don't know if it's an actual date. I said we were just hanging out."

"Dude, that was dumb. If you want it to be a date, you gotta say it's one, otherwise she'll take it you just want to be friends. And I doubt that _you_ want to be _just friends_ with _Manuela Santos_," he couldn't help but taunt, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Man Spin, it's not like that. She's just… she's beautiful, you know? And I think we'd really get along."

"Holy crap dude, you really do like her. I was just messing with you!" Spinner exclaimed, looking surprised. "I mean, I get it and all, but still… I didn't think you'd ever date with Ashley on your back and Ellie pining over Craig. What's the deal?"

"She's just.. I don't know, Spinner, okay? It's just that I think maybe she'd get me somehow." His voice sounded uncertain, and Spinner looked closely at his friend. He'd never sounded uncertain with Hazel, or even Ashley. Spin frowned slightly now, wondering what was up. Jimmy had all but sworn off girls after Ellie and Ashley started getting into it – and hell, Ellie hadn't even wanted Jimmy.

"Okay man, I get it. So what're you going to do with her?" Spinner figured that now was the time to just let Jimmy talk, and not give his opinions.

"Just go to the mall, I guess. Maybe see a movie. Like I said, we're just hanging out…Should I get her flowers?" Jimmy looked a little wild-eyed, and Spinner couldn't help but laugh.

"Dude, chill, okay? You're just hanging out. Friends. Maybe if this goes well, next time you'll have enough balls to ask her on an actual date. _Then_ you can worry about the flowers." He shook his head. Jimmy _was_ serious about this, even if he didn't realize it. Or maybe he was just nervous because this was the first girl he'd been truly interested in – both of them knew Ellie had been a rebound thing, and that was why he hadn't been crushed when she rejected him. As for Ashley… well, the general consensus about that little episode had been "Ewww".

"Yeah, you're right, I'm freaking. I think I'm going to go home and sleep for a few hours though; my legs won't stop aching, and it'll calm me down." Jimmy got up, waved to Spinner, who called "bye" to him, and walked home.

_---Scene Change---_

Emma came home to find Manny asleep on the kitchen table, a half-eaten apple next to her hands. She merely raised an eyebrow, before glancing around. It was an empty house, besides Snoring Beauty there, which meant…

She crept down the stairs to her room, and entered the bathroom. Emma leaned up against the wall, taking deep breaths. It'd been awhile since she had last done this, and she wasn't sure she could do it now. But the fight with Peter that had just ended was gnawing at her head, and she was sure he wouldn't be checking other girls out if she was thinner… Maybe he wouldn't look at Manny that way anymore, or maybe he'd look at_ her_ that way if she could lose ten pounds.

It had been so long since anyone had looked at Emma the way Peter watched Manny. She missed it. When had been the last time, honestly? Emma's heart sank as she remembered – it had been Sean. She was over him by now, of course, and it didn't matter whether she was or not, as he was in Wasaga to stay. But she missed feeling special. That did it. She would do whatever it took for Peter to make her feel special. Emma picked up her toothbrush and jammed it down her throat, then bent over the toilet as she threw up. Two more times she repeated this action, before wiping her mouth and flushing.

She walked back upstairs to find that Manny had woken up, and wasn't looking so good. "How long have you been asleep?" She asked mildly.

"Depends. What time is it?" Manny answered sleepily, rubbing her eyes. They looked red, as though she had been crying, and were still a little puffy.

"It's about four-thirty," Emma responded, figuring that it was a little pathetic that more than half of her four-hour date had been spent fighting. Still…she was taking care of it. She was actively going to change for the better, and look more appealing to her boyfriend. Things would be fine.

"About four hours then," the brunette replied, dropping her head back onto her arms. "JT called, and… he and Liberty broke up."

"I know. He still has a thing for you. That's why he's not as upset as he should be," the other girl commented mildly, watching for Manny's reaction.

"That's what I thought," she responded, groaning loudly. "Emma, I don't need this shit. I'm too tired already, and I don't want to have to decide between guys…"

"What do you mean? You and Jimmy aren't even together," Emma asked, looking at Manny curiously.

"We're not. But… I thought… maybe if this goes well, we'd actually go on a date. A real one. If he wants to, I mean. He probably won't, he's probably just being nice." Manny wasn't aware that she was rambling, and only trailed off after Emma had started giggling uncontrollably.

"You so like him! I thought it was just a 'let's get this over with' thing, but you so like him! That's adorable!" Emma all but squealed, while Manny glared at her.

"I don't like him. It's just nice to actually interact with a guy who isn't Prince of Slime once in awhile," she said calmly, sticking her tongue out at her best friend. Emma mock-glared at her and tossed the apple core at her, still giggling.

"Manny li-ikes Jimmy! Manny li-ikes Jimmy!" She childishly chanted, all but skipping around the table. Manny threw her hands up in the air and started pounding her head against aforementioned table.

"Emma! I have three and a half hours to get ready. So you have three options: shut up and leave me alone, get bent, or help me get ready. I'm really hoping you'll choose option three, but option two is good too." She laughed and pushed Emma, who grinned as well.

"Well, as tempting as getting bent sounds… how do you want me to do your hair?"

Manny squealed and gave her a hug, before the two ran downstairs.

_---Scene Change---_

Three hours later, Manny was dropped off at the mall by Snake (the shoes she had chosen hadn't allowed her to walk, as she had told Jimmy she would). Between herself and Emma, Manny looked like she had stepped off the cover of a magazine. Her hair was pulled back in a French braid, but braided down only a short way, with the bit left loose after the hair tie curling gently. She had chosen a silver, short-sleeved blouse that looked like silk (it wasn't, of course – Emma wouldn't have stood for the suffering of the poor silkworms killed to make it), and had coupled it with a knee-length black rayon skirt. Her shoes were black heels that made her already stunning legs look fantastic, and to top it off, she had a silver necklace hanging around her neck, a black stone at the end. She had been afraid she looked too formal, but was willing to take that chance on the grounds of she looked _damn_ good.

Jimmy was waiting on a bench, and as he saw the Filipino girl walk toward him, thanked God that he had decided to forsake jeans and a t-shirt in favour of black pants and a dark blue formal shirt. His jaw dropped slightly as she came up to him, but he covered well.

"Manny… you look… wow. You look beautiful," Jimmy stammered, but smiled too. She did look stunning, and he found that breathing for him was now no longer an automatic reflex. He quickly inhaled, still looking her over. Just… wow.

"Thanks. You look really good too," she responded, thinking along the same lines of him. She was steadfast in her claim that she was not attracted to Jimmy, but at the moment, she couldn't remember why having a crush on him would be such a bad thing. She was currently admiring his muscles underneath the thin fabric of the shirt. She heard his voice, and tried to snap out of it.

"Huh?"

"I was asking if you wanted to see a movie, but if you want to stand there and stare at me, I'm cool with that too," he teased her, a smirk lighting up his face.

"Oh, yeah, sure. What movie?" She asked, blushing lightly.

"I don't know; we could go see that new comedy," he suggested, shrugging. She looked so pretty when she blushed, he noted. It could be amusing to see more often.

"Sounds good."

_---Scene Change---_

Two and a half hours later, Manny and Jimmy left the movie theatre with a bit of a dazed look on their face.

"We just sat through two hours of hell, didn't we?" Manny commented, slumping down at a table in the food court.

"Nah, I think hell would be more amusing than that," was Jimmy's half-hearted answer as he too sank into a chair.

"Next time Brooks, I'm picking the movie. Your movie picking privileges have been revoked," Manny joked, finally lifting her head up. "Seriously, worst movie ever."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" He cried, putting his hands up in a surrendering motion. "I never should have gone to a movie Spinner recommended." They both laughed, and settled into an easy, conversation.

An hour flew by like nothing, and by the end of the night, the two had become pretty well acquainted. It was little things, like Manny's favourite food (calamari), and Jimmy's favourite colour (purple, surprisingly enough). It was only when Manny glanced at her watch that she realized that it was time for her to go. Jimmy offered her a ride, and the two began to walk towards the entrance.

"Jimmy!" A voice from behind the pair called, and they turned to see none other than Ashley Kerwin running up. "Oh, Manny. How's it going? Aborted any other helpless babies lately?" She asked snidely, hatred flashing in her face.

Manny's face turned a pale pink, and merely whispered, "Hi, Ashley."

Jimmy glared at Ashley, but she didn't notice, and kept talking. "I'm so glad I saw you tonight Jim, I thought about what we talked about this morning, and I think you were wrong. You see, I really do love you, and I want to be with you." She smiled and put her hand on his arm, before glancing back at Ashley. "Oh, Manny, toddle off would you? The grown-ups are talking."

"Ashley, if you think you can just –"

"No, Jimmy, it's okay," Manny interrupted him, on the verge of tears by now. "I'll just go call Snake and have him pick me up. You and Ashley can stay here and talk." She didn't give him a chance to respond as she quickly walked away, taking out her cell phone as she went through the mall's exit.

_---Scene Change---_

"I don't want to talk about it," Manny said flatly as she flung herself upon her bed, pulling her pillow over her head. Emma just stared at her friend in shock – she had very obviously been crying, as her eyeliner and mascara had streamed down her face and dried, giving her the infamous "raccoon eyes".

"Was the movie that bad?" Emma asked weakly, unable to even go over to her crying friend for fear of being yelled at.

"Just leave me alone, Em. I don't even want to have to think about what just happened. Give me a couple days, or a month. Maybe then I'll be able to deal." Manny sank beneath the covers, muffled cries still audible. Emma stared helplessly at her, before moving over to her best friend and crawling underneath the covers, wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl. It was all she knew how to do right now. But to Manny, it was enough just to have her best friend there, _really_ there, when she needed her the most.

_---Scene Change---_

Back at the mall, after Manny fled from the building, Jimmy turned back to the other girl still clinging to his arm, and wrenched out of her grip.

His eyes were flashing with an enraged fire as he growled, "Ashley…"


	5. Admitting To Problems

**_Disclaimer:_** If Degrassi was mine, I wouldn't be worrying about money right now. Gah.

**_Author's Note:_** I'm sorry if I've kept anyone waiting for an update; my life has been hugely hectic. I'm getting married in November, right after I graduate high school, and I'm stressed about a lot of things. Now, get ready, because in this chapter, very little actually happens. This involves a lot of introspection and self-awareness, and not the usual action and physical interaction. This sets up a lot of the later chapters though. Honestly, this is simply a way to finish off some loose ends I really don't want to continue with, such as Ashley and Craig. I'll probably keep with a JT subplot though, since it might be used later…

As usual, comments are always appreciated, let me know what I'm doing wrong, what you want to see, any constructive criticism or compliments, just anything you want to let me know.

Ashley seemed to be unable to sense the impending danger in Jimmy's tone as she kept chattering happily, pleased with herself for getting rid of Manny. "Jimmy, don't thank me, seriously. It was nothing. I couldn't imagine at first why I heard that you were dating Manny, but I figured it was because you felt sorry for her. And as sweet as that is of you, it's also unfair to you. You should find someone you really like, not someone you pity." As she finished her little monologue, she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling, as though waiting for his effusive thanks and declaration that it was she that he _really_ cared about.

Therefore, his real reaction took her completely by surprise.

"Ashley, I wouldn't date you again if you were the last girl on Earth, okay? I don't like you like that at all. And the way you're going, I have a feeling I don't like you, _period_." Jimmy wasn't yelling, or even raising his voice, but the unadulterated anger in his tones conveyed the message loud and clear. Ashley stepped back as though he had physically struck her, her eyes wide and horror-struck.

"I don't understand. We've always been perfect for each other; it just took a little time for us to get to where we should be. Please Jimmy, give me another chance; I can make you happy. Do you think Manny can? What a joke. Manny cares about one person – Manny."

"Yeah, and you're a melodramatic witch who can't seem to comprehend the fact that not all her ex-boyfriends are still madly in love with her. Buy a clue Ash – not interested now, not interested _ever_. I wouldn't date Manny out of pity, and I doubt anyone else would either; people genuinely _want_ to be with her." His last comment became harsh, and Ashley flushed and she began to try to speak again, only to be cut off.

"Jimmy, I – "

"Save it for someone who actually cares. That's not me anymore," he answered, unable to stand this conversation a minute longer. He turned and walked off, leaving Ashley standing there stunned.

_---Scene Change---_

What had just happened? Ashley made her way down to the Food Court in the mall, staring blankly at the wall. She knew she had lied when she said she was still in love with Jimmy, but truthfully, she was _sure_ that she still had leftover feelings for him, feelings that clenched with jealousy when she saw him walking with Manny. God, couldn't that girl leave anyone Ashley cared about alone? First Craig, now Jimmy? Jimmy had _always_ been hers; he was supposed to always be there for her when she needed him, and now that was being taken away from her. Why were people always just drawn to Manny, while Ashley herself seemed to have so many problems finding just one guy? It didn't seem fair.

Still, Jimmy had made his intentions regarding her, or at least _lack_ thereof, perfectly clear, and Ashley could only take being humiliated so much. She heard that Craig and Manny had broken up, but she couldn't bring herself to go down that road again, even if face it, she _had_ called Craig earlier in the week with every intention to go down that road again. Something inside her had broke though, when he said he was still with Manny. And for once, it wasn't her heart, it was her patience. Besides, she knew that even if he had been with her, Ellie would have ended their relationship soon.

She was so tired of being alone though.

Ashley thought of the phone call she had received earlier in the day – her internship in London was being offered again, full-time instead of just summer stints. She had fully intended to turn it down when Jimmy became her boyfriend again, but that wasn't going to happen. What was left for her here, really? It was only a matter of time before Ellie was calling her up squealing about Craig, and she didn't know if she could take that. Maybe it was running away again, but Ashley found she didn't care.

She'd call her dad first thing in the morning and find a way out of here. In London, she liked who she was, and so did other people. Here… it seemed she was determined to be a heinous, clingy bitch. So perhaps it wasn't running away. Maybe it was running _to_ something that would be better for everyone.

It had to work out this time, because it was all she had.

_---Scene Change---_

Manny woke up the morning after the wonderful-turned-disaster-'Not-A-Date' feeling like she had been run over by a rabid rhinoceros. It was about seven, and while Emma had gotten up when her alarm clock rang half an hour before, Manny had hurled it against the wall, smiling to herself as she pulled her covers over her head and turned over in bed, ready for a good three or four more hours sleep. It was Sunday after all, and she hated getting up early for anything but school. Still, she realized quickly she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, and with a sigh of annoyance, she hauled herself out of bed.

Manny got dressed in a slight daze, still trying to comprehend what had happened at the mall the night before. She still couldn't fathom why Ashley was so bound and determined to make her life a living hell – the issue with Craig was three years ago, and since then the two girls had little to no contact. Then again, if anyone could hold a grudge, it was Ashley, but she still didn't realize just how capable the older girl was of cruelty. She understood why Ashley hated her because of Craig, but did she think she had gotten pregnant on purpose? Did she really think Manny had just woken up that day and decide, "I'm going to make the lives of three people miserable"? She wondered what would happen if it had been the other way around – if Manny had been the girlfriend, Ashley the cheater, and the one to get pregnant. Would Manny have been as unrelenting in her loathing as Ashley had been? She hung her head; she honestly didn't know the answer to that. She certainly hoped not, and believed that she would have calmed down after _three years_, but she couldn't in all truthfulness say that.

She sighed and went upstairs, grabbing a bowl and pouring some cereal into it. She barely tasted the food, but that was all right, because she wasn't that hungry to begin with. Manny figured that she would eat a better, real breakfast after she came back from running. Her curly hair went up in the high pony-tail that she so often used while exercising, and she stepped out the door, warming up outside before taking off at a sprint, hoping to run the poisonous and depressing thoughts out of her system.

_---Scene Change---_

The problem with having a stare-down with a toilet is that the toilet had the advantage of the lack of eyes and possessed an iron… err, porcelain will. Plus, it didn't give a damn whether it won or lost – it probably wasn't aware the contest was going on. Emma, on the other hand, seemed to think that if she could get the Porcelain God of War to blink first, she could walk away satisfied with life and herself once and for all.

She seemed to have forgotten that toilets couldn't blink.

She didn't want to do this anymore, really. It started out as a form of control, and it ended up controlling her. She knew that it was making her miserable, and for the first time since she had started this 'diet', when she looked in the mirror she saw what she really was – a skeleton. She wasn't 'sexy' or 'hawt', no, she looked like the living dead. All those clothes she had bought earlier in the year that she loved so much because they clung to her curves were now useless – she had no curves, all she had was bones. Emma had stared unbelievingly at her reflection, wondering when it had come to that. She vaguely recalled that when she had started, she wanted to only lose five pounds. Then another five pounds. And five pounds had turned into about thirty. She couldn't quite absorb the shock that if she wanted to go as a skeleton for Halloween, she could just very well walk around naked.

But the worst part of all was that even with all the thoughts of horror and disgust going through her head, there was still that overpowering voice that whispered to her that if she could just lose ten more pounds, she would be beautiful and everything in the world would be all right. And after tearing her eyes away from the mirror and her gaunt, emaciated reflection, all she wanted to do was throw up the apple she had eaten earlier that morning. Emma wasn't entirely sure that she could walk away from this; she still couldn't admit that she had a real problem, even if she was perfectly aware of the fact that she did. If she lost this now, she would lose every ounce of control she had over her life, and she wasn't sure she could deal with that. Still, it was out of control, and that scared her more than anything. But Emma was sure she could stop anytime she wanted to, and she'd prove it. This would be the last time, and then she'd start eating and keeping it down. She'd gain weight and go back to having a figure, a body type, anything but just skin and bone. This would be the last time, last time, last time.

Emma threw up.

After flushing the toilet and washing her face, she walked downstairs and into her room.

And then Emma did something that she should have done from the start, something that if perhaps she had done, would have prevented this downward spiral into nothing but a mere shadow of herself.

Emma cried.

_---Scene Change---_

Manny was exhausted by the time she returned to the house an hour later. When she usually jogged, it was a slow pace so that she didn't push herself too hard, but today had been mainly full-out running. She had been so angry and hurt when she began that she didn't pace herself, and didn't care. She was so determined on clearing her head that she ended up instead focusing on her problems and ignoring her strides, her speed, and her physical endurance. It wore her out completely, but it had eventually accomplished her goal – she had come to terms with what happened the night before, and was too weary to even think about being angry or upset about it. She just wanted to sleep until the year went by and she didn't have to focus on anything but getting out of Degrassi.

As Manny went to go downstairs to her room, she heard the sound of muffled crying. It shocked her badly, because Emma hadn't cried once during the treatment of her anorexia, and everyone had thought it was a bit unhealthy. Every part of her best friend instinct told her to go down there and try to make her friend feel better, but her common sense told her that this was something Emma needed to get out of her system, to deal with herself so that she could try to make sense out of what had been happening. Manny was sure it was overwhelming, and when Emma was confused or upset about something, she didn't appreciate outside interference. She would go tend to her later, when Emma would listen to advice and wouldn't become immediately defensive and impossible to talk to. She sighed, turning and going back into the kitchen.

Her cell phone rang, but as she checked Caller ID, she immediately switched it to silent. She didn't want to deal with JT right now – she didn't think she could, to be honest. She was so confused about everything that had happened. Manny couldn't figure out why she was so disappointed that Jimmy hadn't followed her last night, and she certainly wasn't sure why the thought of Ashley and he together made her blood boil. She _didn't_ like Jimmy in that way, right? She had spent the last couple days convincing herself that Jimmy was nothing more than a friend to her, but now she wasn't so sure that she could keep that little delusion up. Sure, friends got hurt that friends didn't stick up for them in front of other "friends", but they didn't feel like their world was ending because of it. Could she conceivably have an actual crush on Jimmy Brooks? It was a bit amazing to her that she would actually like anyone except Craig, because it has been Craig for so long. It was almost a relief to experience those butterflies with someone else.

Of course, it didn't hurt that he was dead sexy.

_Okay, so I like Jimmy_

_They say that admitting it is the first step. I, Manuela Santos, have a crush on Jimmy Brooks._

…_Now what?_

_---Scene Change---_

Somewhere in Vancouver, Craig opened the door to let Ellie in, after inviting her to spend a few days during her Winter Break with him. It wasn't long before they had settled down on his couch and were watching a cheesy special, and half-way through during a particularly uninteresting commercial, Craig got both the surprise of his life, and jumped.

Somewhere in Vancouver, a curly-haired rock-star hopeful and a redheaded journalist-to-be are enjoying themselves immensely behind a locked bedroom door.

More information could be given, but it would be nosy and impolite.

_---Scene Change---_

Jimmy had a rough night sleeping after the confrontation with Ashley, and finally gave it up around five or so. He was feeling guilty for how he treated Ash, not because he still had feelings for her, but because of the fact that he hated losing his temper with anyone. It was rare that he blew up and actually became outright insulting, but the message just hadn't been getting through to the girl. Jimmy knew that Ashley was just trying to get together with him for the sake of being with someone, but she probably had convinced herself that what she felt was genuine, and it always hurt to be rejected, let alone in such a horrible way. Maybe he would call her later to apologize. At a more reasonable time, anyway, since it was only now just six o'clock.

Then his thoughts turned to Manny, and he was surprised to feel his heart rate quicken. He knew that he was physically attracted to her, because he _did_ have eyes and a functioning libido. But there was more than that – there had been a definite connection during the don't-call-it-a-date last night, and he felt even worse for not going after her, instead sticking around to tell off Ashley. He hoped that if he set things straight with Manny, she might be willing to give it another try.

This line of thinking went on for a few hours, in-between Jimmy drifting in and out of sleep. Around noon, he realized that he was going to stay fully awake, and reached for his phone. He called Ashley, and the two talked briefly about what had happened the night before. He apologized for his actions, she in turn apologized for hers, and told him that she was flying back to London the next week, intending to stay there for good. There were no promises to keep in touch or stay close – neither of the two teenagers really wanted that; Ashley because she wanted to stay completely separate from Degrassi, giving herself a real chance to start over, and Jimmy because with Ashley came drama, and he had no desire for that again. They both realized this was their ending, and it was far past time.

As he hung up the phone, Jimmy was silent for a moment, contemplating what had just ended.

Later, he would call Manny and see if there could be a beginning as well.

_---Scene Change---_

Two hours later, Manny went downstairs to check on Emma, not at all surprised to see that Emma was asleep on her bed. It broke Manny's heart to see how frail and thin the blonde girl looked, and she crossed the room silently, trying not to awaken her. As she went into the bathroom to wash her face, the sounds of Emma stirring caused her to peek out, and she saw that the girl had woken up, and commenced crying again. Manny knew it was time to step in, and entered the bedroom once again, sitting next to Emma on her bed, merely placing one arm around her shoulders and holding her close. The physical contact seemed to help her as she looked up sniffling, eyes blood-shot and her nose running. Silently, Manny handed her a tissue and brushed her hair back from her face, waiting.

They both seemed to understand that this was Emma's time to talk if she chose to, or simply to be comforted. Manny didn't understand what was going on this time, or why Emma couldn't seem to stop crying, but she didn't need to. She understood that her best friend was in pain, and that was all she needed to know. Emma sat there sobbing into Manny's shoulder for about fifteen minutes before coming up for air, and looked at her. She was embarrassed about her breakdown, but saw no judgment in her friend's dark eyes, only concern and questioning. She pulled away briefly, trying to clear her thoughts. Then she looked directly at Manny, her face serious now, and sighed, trying to calm down enough to talk. She took a deep breath, before looking at the ground and saying the hardest thing she'd ever have to in her life.

"Manny, I need help."


	6. Police And Flashing Lights

**_Disclaimer:_** This is Degrassi. I am a poor seventeen year old white chick. Therefore, I don't own it. I just make the puppets dance for fun, because dancing puppets are clean, free, friendly fun!

**_Author's Note:_** And… here's where the shit will hit the fan. I guess there have been some people who seem to think that I've written Peter out of character – I'm sorry, but I disagree. To me, he seems manipulative with violent tendencies, as is displayed in the two episodes he actively interacts with Manny in – one in which he seems ready to hit her, if Craig didn't step in.

Also, I'm debating whether or not to continue this story, since no one really seems interested in it. So if you'd like me write another chapter, please leave a review – I'm really enjoying writing this now that I've set out the storyline, but I don't want to waste my time on an empty audience.

It had been about a month since Emma's last breakdown where she sobbingly confessed to Manny that she had not stopped purging, and had admitted she was in serious need of help. The two girls went straight to Spike and Snake, and Emma went into rehab – a serious rehab this time, not just the hospital. The family went to see her every Sunday, with Peter tagging along once in awhile, much to Manny's annoyance. Still, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, since Peter decided that since Manny almost broke his nose the last time he openly harassed her, it wasn't worth his trouble to try it again. The car rides to and from Ocean View Treatment Facility (which was neither near an ocean nor had much of a view) usually consisted of stony silence in the back seat where the two teenagers were forced together, with Snake and Spike chattering nervously in the front seat, trying to break the heavy tension that settled over the car.

Manny often felt out of place in Emma's room, where Peter seemed to reign supreme. Though she was gaining weight, Emma's self-esteem still was severely limited to living and dying by Peter's opinion, and Manny severely doubted that she would ever really gain her life back as long as Peter remained around – Emma was too fragile, and one manipulative comment gone awry would send her over the edge. Still, as much as she tried talking to Emma about it, the other girl wouldn't listen to reason and adamantly defended her boyfriend to the point where she would burst into tears if Manny said one harsh word against him. Though it had started out just casual discussions, the more Manny tried to get Emma to realize just how unhealthy their relationship was, the bigger the fights became, and the stress was starting to get to both of them.

On this particular day, Emma had been in her counseling appointment when the family showed up, Peter in tow, so Manny opted to wait in Emma's room instead of in the actual lobby with the rest of them. Knowing that Emma had become picky about her room (it seemed that a slightly obsessive nature was taking the place of her anorexia, but at least _that_ wasn't deadly, so it would be worked upon later, if at all), Manny stretched out on the floor and stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, before closing her eyes and relishing the quiet. It had been so hectic at home lately; with Emma gone, there were more responsibilities on Manny's shoulders, and while she understood and didn't mind, it got hard watching Jack constantly and having all that noise around, on top of worrying about Emma and trying to comfort Spike, who was even more worried about her daughter. This silence she was currently basking in was a bit of a luxury, and she was determined to enjoy every moment she could, before it was back to reality.

Reality, however, decided to make an ugly entrance in the form of what many would consider a very attractive male teenager who slammed the door inconsiderately, and startled Manny from her reverie.

"What are you doing here?" she groaned as Peter sat down on Emma's bed, standing up and walking over to the windowsill and sitting on that instead.

"Same thing you are Princess, waiting for Emma," was the snotty reply as he uncaringly stretched out on the flawless comforter it must have taken Emma twenty minutes to straighten out, wrinkling it in the process.

Manny sighed, rolling her eyes. "You realize that when Emma sees that, it's going to drive her crazy, and she'll spend another seventeen hours trying to make it perfect again?"

"And this is supposed to bother me?" Peter answered flippantly, shrugging and stretching out even more.

"Uhm, duh, she's your girlfriend; aren't you supposed to make things easier for her, not drive her even more insane?"

"She's already crazy, it's not like this'll make it worse. Besides, I'm thinking of dumping her anyway," he shrugged again, picking up a framed picture on the bedside table of him and Emma kissing in the park, a picture which Manny begrudgingly had taken. He examined it for a few moments before putting it down. "Besides, she's too freaking clingy. I get that I'm irresistible, but I'd rather just date around, play the field."

"Do you even hear what you're _saying_?" Manny all but shrieked. "Your girlfriend is in a _rehab_ center battling anorexia, you've basically isolated her from _all_ her friends because we actually _know_ you're a conceited, controlling jerk but she won't listen to us because she seems to think that _you're_ the only one who matters! And now you're just leaving her because she's having a hard time, leaving me to clean up the mess you're going to leave behind? Are you _insane_?"

"Screw you, Manny! I'm not going to stay with some head case when I could be out dating girls who are actually normal!" Peter shot back, standing up and towering over Manny. She immediately jumped up, aware of the fact that he was taller than she was by several inches, but unwilling to back down. After all the damage he'd caused Emma, she was still in shock that he was hell-bent on causing more. Didn't he have any sense of moral decency? Of course, she knew the answer: a huge, resounding _no_.

"Do it now then, Peter. Don't wait for her to get out, thinking everything's fine. You'll send her right back in here," Manny all but pleaded, shaking her head.

"Don't tell me what to do – I'm sticking with Emma until I find another hot piece of ass. You sure you're not interested?" He asked, leering at her.

"Oh, fuck off!" Manny exploded, and as she turned to walk out of the room, she found herself flying across the floor and slamming into the opposite wall, her shoulder exploding with pain as it made contact with the cement wall. She stared up at Peter with wide eyes, unable to form a coherent thought. He started to come towards her, and as she tried to scrabble out the door, unable to get up in time to block what could have been his next punch, Peter found a fist landing square on his mouth, stopping his progression.

"Don't you ever fucking touch her," snarled a voice full of righteous fury and absolute anger as Emma stepped into the room, her knuckles bleeding from where they had slammed into Peter's teeth. It was very, very apparent that she had heard everything that had just been said, and while the wrath of a teenager who weighs only 109 pounds may not seem intense, the fact was, this was a mildly OCD girl who had seen the state of her previously perfect bed.

Emma was out for blood other than her own that was coming from her knuckles.

"Emma, wait, let me explain –"

"Shut the hell up Peter. Be glad I haven't called the cops!" She yelled, advancing on him menacingly. "I believed you when you said that Manny was lying. I believed you when you said that it was Heather Sinclair who came onto _you_, not the other way around. I believed your stupid, pathetic cheating _ass_ when I should have believed the people who actually care about me." She took a deep breath, and continued, more calmly now. "You have ten seconds to get the hell out of here, and my life for that matter, before I hit 'send' on this cell phone and report you for assault."

"You wouldn't dare," Peter hissed, looking around like a caged animal.

"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven…" Peter ran towards the door and opened it, darting out into the hallway. Emma spoke again. "Oh, Peter?"

He turned around so that he was now facing her, his eyes slightly wild. "What?"

"I lied." He watched as she pressed SEND, and smirked. "Start running."

Peter took off.

_---Scene Change---_

"Emma, you didn't have to call the police," Manny said quietly as she sat on Emma's bed, an icepack held to her shoulder.

"I didn't," the blonde replied matter-of-factly, taking a seat beside her and laughing a bit. "But he'll be freaked out for the next two months or so whenever he hears a siren. If you want, we can still call and report it, all these rooms have cameras in them to make sure… well, you know."

Manny knew – to make sure that the residents didn't harm themselves, but she didn't feel the need to finish that sentence. "It's okay, really. He'll leave me alone from now on, if he doesn't switch schools entirely. Who'd you call, though?"

"Oh, that? I actually had called Hatzilakos beforehand… got the answering machine. Everything we basically just said is now recorded on Mommy's machine at home. Petey-boy won't get off scot-free anyway."

"When did _you_ become such a conniving little bitch?" Manny asked jokingly, amazed at her friend's foresight and relative ingenuity.

"My roommate's a recovering drug addict who had an abusive step-father. She's taught me a lot," Emma replied softly, looking down. "She's really been wonderful to have here."

Manny nodded, sighing. "I'm glad you have someone you'll talk to, at least," she muttered, looking down at the floor.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's hard to talk to you guys because you don't know what it's like. But I don't want to get into a fight right now, I'm still recovering from the last one," the blonde girl joked, holding up the knuckles that Manny had wrapped with bandages and surgical tape. "Tell me about school and stuff. How're things with you and Jimmy?"

"Non-existent," Manny replied glumly, "even though Ashley moved to London again, and I guess Ellie and Craig are together now, we haven't talked since That Night." There were obviously capital letters involved by her tone. "I don't know if I even want to talk to him, and he doesn't seem that keen to communicate. I think I'm just giving up. I don't have enough time for a boyfriend or even just dating in general."

"About that…" Emma seemed hesitant at first, then gathered her courage. "Manny, don't come here every weekend anymore, okay? Mom told me that all you've been doing is helping her around the house and coming here, worrying about me, doing things for everyone except you. Go have a life, seriously. I have friends here that can deal with my issues, and you shouldn't become anti-social just because my life is on hold right now."

Manny opened her mouth to protest, but Emma waved her off. "I'm serious about this, okay? I'll tell the secretaries not to let you come up if you try anyway. I'm not saying don't visit, but once a month is _fine_. You have a life, this is mine. It's not like I'll be alone, my parents will come, and I have people here. Please, Manny, this is good for both of us right now. I have to learn to deal with things without having you to run to every time I break a fingernail."

Trying not to look as hurt or cast aside as she felt, Manny nodded, getting up to leave. "If that's what you really want, then okay. Spike and Snake will be ready to go… so I guess I'll see you next month."

And with that, she walked out the door, the fact that Emma had never once apologized for all the times she blew up at Manny, instead taking Peter's side not escaping her attention. She didn't expect an apology, but the sting of the lack of one was very, very real.

_ ---Scene Change---_

For the first in a very long time, Manny was completely alone in her room – there was no Jack, no Peter rifling through Emma's things, no concerned Snake or Spike... It was _her_ room now, too, one she didn't have to share for at least three more months. Even though Emma had given her the okay, she still didn't sleep in the bed – there were too many bad memories there for her to be comfortable. Anything Peter's body had touched was off-limits, and the sessions with Craig were still too unsettling to recall. She sighed, stretching out on her cot, and merely stared at the ceiling.

She had longed for quiet ever since Emma left, just a bit of privacy, a time for her to be alone. Now the isolation felt crushing, and she felt very, very small. A shiver ran through her as she curled up with her stuffed lamb, the only surviving member of what used to be her Fluffy-Fluff Collection. The anger in Peter's eyes as he came towards her kept replaying in her mind, and it scared her. What if Emma's threat of police action didn't stop him from coming after her? She shifted slightly in bed and gasped in pain – her shoulder was in the beginning stages of bruising, and she knew there would be at least a week of pain before it healed. Manny shook her head, trying not to let herself fall into frightened, depressing thoughts as she drifted off to sleep.

The next morning was a school day, and Manny got ready in a hurry, fully intending to talk to Jimmy about what might have gone on between them the previous month. She ad absolutely no idea what to say, but even something completely idiotic would get the dialogue started. She was prepared for how foolish she would seem to Jimmy.

What she wasn't prepared for was the fact that he came running up to her in the cafeteria in the morning as soon as he spotted her, mad as hell.

"The bastard _pushed _you?" He exclaimed, pulling her over to a less crowded portion of the cafeteria. Jimmy's voice was full of anger, his eyes flashing the way they had when he had turned his temper on Ashley the previous month.

"What? How did you know?" She asked in confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side in a questioning position. It made more sense to her now as she noticed the whispers and glances directed at her from most of the people in the cafeteria, though she had at first attributed them to be the normal "Oh em gee what a trampy little skank" comments. Now she realized that if Jimmy knew about what had happened, it was a safe bet that most other people did too.

"Heather Sinclair lives across the street from Peter and Hatzilakos – he was apparently hauled off by the cops last night," Jimmy explained, watching Manny turn white. "Did he really hit you?"

Manny nodded mutely, looking around, "Emma said she wouldn't…" she murmured, looking distraught. "Does everyone think I'm just a stupid bitch who deserved it?" she asked quietly, eyes filling with tears.

"Manny, everyone's really pissed off at Peter. And Emma's not the one who called it in – I guess Heather said that his mom was screaming at him for ten minutes before the cops came; I'm guessing she either called them, or they were called for public disturbance and found out that way. What does it _matter_ though? After what happened with Rick, you were just going to let Peter get away with that?" Jimmy's breathing was ragged and his voice raw as he continued with his rant. "What if he came after you? What if he really, really hurt you Manny? After what he did to you at the beginning of the year, how could you just let him keep abusing you like this?"

"He wasn't abusing me, this was the first time he touched me!" she cried, confused and angry at the feeling of desperation welling up inside her. She didn't want to be perceived as a helpless little girl who couldn't take up for herself – especially not by Jimmy.

"Wake up Manny, he's been following you around for weeks calling you horrible things, and he actually _pushed_ you. I'm guessing he left a bruise and it was bad enough for even his mother to turn him in. If she hadn't, do you think he would have let this go? If you do, you're seriously brain-dead."

"What the hell do you care anyway?" she shot back, knowing it was a feeble answer, but having nothing better to say. What could she? Jimmy was right; had that not been the very thing that had kept her up late last night, tossing and turning, afraid to even come to school the next day? She sniffled slightly, trying to keep the tears from spilling over her onto her flushed cheeks. This was wonderful, really. She'd gone from being the school slut to the little doormat who wouldn't put up a fight for her own safety. Wonder-frickin-ful.

"What the hell do I care? Manny, you're – you're only – " Jimmy stammered for a moment, though out of true loss for words or anger, it wasn't apparent. "Screw this, I was stupid for even coming over here," he muttered, turning to walk away.

"Jimmy, wait! What were you going to say?" Manny called after him, the dead weight in her stomach turning to a fluttery nervousness. She waited for a moment, but he was already walking away. Panic seized her; if he walked away now, she'd never be able to talk to him again, or ask him what was happening or if he was even _feeling_ the butterflies like she was. "Jimmy!" She ran after him, putting her hand on his elbow and turning him to face her.

All of a sudden, he had drawn her close and when she looked up, she saw only his eyes full of concern for her before fluttering shut and capturing her lips in a passionate, almost bruising kiss, his arms securely around her waist. As they pulled apart, Manny was oblivious to the catcalls and cheers from the people around them. Jimmy showed no sign of pride or embarrassment; he didn't even blush.

"Don't _ever_ say I don't care about you," he whispered, leaning his forehead to hers.


	7. I Don't Want You

**_Disclaimer:_** Degrassi is not mine. But these delicious brownies _are_.

**_Author's Note:_** This chapter jumps around a lot, and I do it on purpose to show that Manny is very, very confused. But fear not, all will be well… maybe.

Manny's heart was beating so quickly, she was sure it was going to jump out of her chest and flop around on the floor like a fish out of water. She looked up into Jimmy's eyes and pulled back, her own brown eyes wide and confused. This was all happening too fast, and even though she had, admittedly, had a few late-night dreams about just this, she found that in reality it was a bit harder to deal with. "Why did you do that?" She cried, trying to get her breath back, her eyes almost accusatory.

"What?" Jimmy replied, his voice coming out surprised and almost squeaky. "I… I don't know; I've been wanting to for awhile." _What the hell is going on?_

"A_while_? Jimmy, you've only known me for a few weeks. You don't know me at _all_. Why would you kiss someone you don't know?" Her voice was becoming higher pitched now, her hands running through her hair. She wasn't sure why she was becoming so panicked, but something was twisting inside her, telling her that this was _wrong_.

"Manny, who _wouldn't_ want to kiss you? You're beautiful, gorgeous - you're _fantastic,_" he replied, still confused, but trying to compliment her. Why was she doing this?

"Is that it? Because I'm hot, Jimmy?"

"Y-you're great! You're like every guy's wet dream!" Jimmy tried again, not knowing where she was going with this.

"Go to hell," Manny said softly, his words stinging and causing tears to rise in her eyes.

"What? Manny, what's wrong with you? I thought you wanted this!" He demanded, now getting angry at her reaction.

"I thought you saw me as more than some hot chick, Jimmy. I thought you were different. I guess I am just a stupid little girl!" she exclaimed, before turning and stalking off.

Jimmy had no idea what the _hell_ had just happened, but he was too stunned to go after her to try to find out. The whispers around him increased as he sank down into a chair, staring at the wall. Was it possible that he had just completely misread _everything_? He didn't think so, but maybe he had done more damage than he thought that night when he didn't chase after her, when Ashley had been so cruel. He groaned into his hands, pounding his head against the table before letting it rest there. What. The. Hell.

"Dude, I thought you were smoother than that," Spinner commented as he dropped into the chair next to Jimmy, trying not to laugh.

"What just happened, man? Explain it to me, 'cause I have _no_ freaking clue," was the only response that Spinner got from his best friend, who was still staring at the table top.

"Which part, the part where you were completely awesome and kissed her, or the part where you were a complete moron and blew it?" he teased. Spinner knew it was a bit mean, but hey, it wasn't everyday that Jimmy was the one who messed up with a girl, and he, Spinner, knew exactly what was going on. He was going to relish this moment for a little bit.

"Dude, either help me or shut up, okay? I'm so not in the mood," Jimmy growled, lifting his head and shooting Spinner a death glare.

"Fine, fine. Okay, first off, you're a complete idiot. You could have totally had her if you didn't open your mouth and let the 'stupid' part of your brain talk."

"But _why_ was it stupid? I was just trying to give her a freakin' compliment!" he exclaimed, hitting the table with his palm.

"Jimmy, face it – Manny Santos is the hottest piece of ass to come to Degrassi in a long time. And that is exactly how most guys here see her –just a piece of ass. Now, she really likes you, obviously. So when you kissed her, showing that you like her, she wanted to make sure that _you_ didn't see her as some slut. And so when you said that –"

"– she thought I just wanted a quick lay. Oh, shit," Jimmy finished, finally getting it. "Dude, when the hell did you get so smart? And about chicks?"

"Hello, I _did_ date both Paige and Darcy. Both incredibly uptight about what came out of my mouth," Spinner reminded him, smirking.

"All right, All-Knowing Spinner, the fifty million dollar question is, what do I do now?"

"Well, let her have some time to cool down; you don't want to go after her while she's pissed off at you like she is. Maybe go over to her house later, or call her. Make sure she knows that you like her for more than what's underneath her clothes. You _do_ want her for more than sex, right?" Spinner added suspiciously, quirking an eyebrow.

"Of course I do, Spin! She's… amazing, y'know? She's smart, and funny, and she's sweet. And when she smiles… man, it's like, I don't know. It's like I can't remember anything bad happening, ever." Jimmy's eyes took on a faraway look for a moment, until Spinner's sounds of pretending to gag brought him back to reality.

"Man, okay. One, I do _not_ need to know that. Two, _she_ does. So make sure that you let her know, okay? And for God's sake, stop grinning like a love-struck moron!"

---_Scene Change---_

Manny found herself in the girl's washroom, which was surprisingly enough empty. She figured that everyone had been in the cafeteria watching the scene take place, but at least she could be alone. She locked herself in a stall, sat down, and sobbed. She didn't know what was going on, or why she felt like she did. What had happened with Peter, and now this with Jimmy, she was so confused. She knew that she had a major crush on Jimmy, but was it just because he was the first guy to show any interest in her for awhile, and she was feeling lonely without Craig? She didn't want to start anything with him until she knew she actually liked him, because she had been used enough in the past to know how much it hurt, and she didn't want to do that to him.

But she _didn't_ want to be alone. She was so tired of it. It was hard to get through the day without having anyone to really talk to. All she had was Emma, and she had been banished from seeing her as much as she had. And now she wasn't sure that she even wanted Jimmy, which was why Emma told her to stop coming in the first place. She was, virtually, alone. Manny leaned her head on her arms, which rested on her knees. What was she supposed to do, here? The one guy that she imagined could care about something other than her looks and the quickest way to get in her pants had just proven otherwise. How could she have been so stupid as to think he was interested in what she _felt_, in who she was? No one else had been.

She exited the stall and made her way over to the bathroom, washed her face with cold water and looked at her reflection. Manny blinked, a bit surprised at what she saw. Her face was tear-stained, but washed clean and devoid of any makeup. Her hair curled gently, the perm that had made such tight ringlets beginning to relax into soft waves. Her eyes were rimmed and bloodshot, but in a few moments they would fade back to their normal brown colour. She looked like she had before her Great Change, when she was 'cute', not 'sexy', and at the moment, Manny couldn't remember why she had wanted it to be any other way.

Craig. Of course it had been Craig. When she traced the roots of her problems back to their source, it all led to Craig. That wasn't a fair assumption, of course, but it all stemmed from her insecurities and obsession regarding the curly-haired boy. Sure, he had treated her like crap, but she had always gone back to him. She had always been drawn to him, and had lived her life around him to make sure he was always included in it. Why?

_You've always done it, though,_ she thought to herself, leaning against the sink. _First Craig, then Chester, then Peter. You're looking for a guy who treats you badly, who makes you feel like a stupid little girl – who **wants** to hurt you. Who doesn't really love you. Where did you learn that's what you wanted?_

_From you, Craig._

_But I'm not in grade nine anymore_.

Manny took a deep breath. And then she took two more.

Five hundred deep breaths later, she left the restroom, only late for her first class by five minutes. As she sat down to listen to her teacher talk about the assignments of the day, she still didn't know what she felt about Jimmy. She didn't know if what she felt was real, or if she was simply tired of feeling unwanted. Right now, she didn't feel anything, even when she saw Jimmy walk by her classroom and stop, looking at her for a moment. No butterflies, no twinge in her heart – nothing.

But maybe later she would figure it out.

After class, Manny explained to her teacher why she had been late ('feminine problems' had been her excuse, and as her teacher had been of the male persuasion, he didn't question her much further) and headed off to the cafeteria at break time, thinking to get a bagel since she didn't have time for breakfast. Despite the hunger pains that gnawed at her stomach, Manny took one look at the long line and decided just to wait until she got home to eat (lunch wasn't worth buying today – the egg rolls here were absolutely disgusting). Sighing, she sat down at a table by herself, watching everything go by and simply wishing the bell would ring. In class, she didn't have to worry about no one talking to her, because no one was supposed to. Here, she felt like an outcast.

"Here you go," was followed by a bagel being tossed in front of her. Manny looked up, startled, and smiled.

"J.T., what are you doing here?" she asked, smiling as he took a seat next to her.

"Well, I noticed while I was in line that you were looking at someone's bagel like it was a currently-unattached Orlando Bloom, but then you had that look you get when you think something's not worth the wait, and I would hate for you to go without food. So, here you go," he grinned back at her, posture relaxed as he settled down for a talk.

"Oh… thanks," she replied, smiling and giving him a one-armed hug, before taking a bite of the bagel. "I really appreciate this," Manny said after swallowing, finally becoming less tense and pushing her hair out of her face.

"Uh, well, you know, anything for you," he joked, but shifted nervously. "So, how've you been?"

"All right, I guess. I've been a little lonely since the break-up with Craig, but you know he was never really around or anything, since Vancouver isn't exactly a hop, skip, and jump from here. It's not that different, just… it is."

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I don't miss Liberty really, but I miss having someone there to keep me company. I mean, I did really like her, but at the end, it was like we were just playing at having a relationship. She didn't like me by the time Towerz came back, and I just didn't want to be alone." J.T. paused for a moment, and as Manny nodded in understanding and agreement, he began to speak again, "It's like… She found herself liking someone else, and I did too."

Manny frowned, wondering where this was going, but before she had a chance to speak, the bell rang signaling the end of the ten minute break. She let out a small sigh of relief; J.T. was looking possessively at her again, and even though it was making her feel light-headed, she wasn't sure whether she liked the feeling or not. "I'm sorry J.T.; I have to get to class. I'll talk to you at lunch, maybe?" She found herself curious about what he intended to say, but at the same time… sometimes she found her friend a bit too intense, despite his usually joking attitude.

"Yeah… yeah, definitely," he said, almost in a mutter as Manny gathered her stuff and got ready to go. "Want to meet back here or something?"

"Oh, yeah, okay, I'll be here at lunch then," she answered, a bit surprised that he had taken her up on what she had said, but pleasantly shocked just the same. It would be nice to have a friend around, even if it was her ex-boyfriend who was making her feel just the slightest bit uncomfortable. It was probably just the awkwardness of how long it had been since the two last talked. It was _J.T._, for pity's sake. Nothing was awkward with him for very long.

­_---Scene Change---_

Jimmy was having a hard time concentrating in classes. His thoughts were being consumed by what he was going to say to Manny later. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid as to not catch what she was looking for, and he couldn't get the image of those large, beautiful brown eyes filling with tears. Jimmy mentally kicked himself for the twentieth time that day – he couldn't stand the fact that he had hurt Manny, especially over something he should have been able to prevent. What was wrong with him? This was the first girl he had really been into since he and Hazel broke up; Ellie had been a passing fancy, trying to get Hazel out of his mind.

"Mr. Brooks, pay attention!" Mr. Armstrong snapped for the third time in an hour. "If you cannot keep your mind on what I'm teaching, you can go explain your troubles to the principal. Would you prefer that?"

"No, Mr. Armstrong, I'm sorry," he muttered, lifting his eyes to look at the board. He had no idea what the hell was going on in this class either, but then, being confused seemed to be the theme of the day.

"Now, who can tell me…"

Jimmy tuned out once again, unable to focus on the boring Analysis lesson. He just wanted to get this done with; he had spent the entire day figuring out how he would apologize to Manny, and now that he had some idea (that he would probably forget the moment he was faced with the beautiful brunette) of what to say, he wanted to be able to say it.

Finally, finally, finally the bell rang, and Jimmy bolted from his seat. "Mr. Brooks, please stay back a moment," Armstrong called, causing a loud groan from the teenager. Still, he turned back and headed back up towards the teacher's desk, taking a seat right in front.

"Now Mr. Brooks, I expect the disrespect you displayed today in my class won't be repeated again. Am I correct in thinking this?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, I'm just very preoccupied. I promise it won't happen again," Jimmy said, trying to speed things along by saying what he knew Armstrong wanted to hear.

"Is there anything you want to talk about, Jimmy? Are you having trouble adjusting to being back at school?" He asked in concern, tilting his head towards Jimmy.

"What? No, sir, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night; I'm fine, really. Thanks for being concerned, but I'm really… no, there's nothing wrong," he replied quickly, taken aback and forgetting momentarily about Manny and the apology he had to give. Everyone was still so preoccupied with the shooting, and his role in it and the after-affects; would he ever really be free of it while he was still in Degrassi? It made him angry momentarily, but he snapped himself out of it when he saw Armstrong looking expectantly. "Sorry, what?"

"I _said_ that I expect you to be paying attention in class tomorrow, as well as have all the notes taken and assignment completed that you did not feel important enough to do today. Do you understand?" Armstrong's voice had changed from concerned to annoyed once again when he realized that Jimmy had, in fact, _not_ been paying attention to what he was saying. Again.

"Yes, sir," he muttered, embarrassed now, and impatient at all the time the exchange was taking.

"Very well then, you may go."

---_Scene Change---_

Manny found J.T. waiting at the table for her at lunch, and still couldn't quite believe that he was there. He had showed little interest in her for the past few months, and suddenly, now that he and Liberty were finished, he was coming around again? Manny began to wonder if Liberty had asked him not to associate with her, because she knew that J.T.'s life had always been ruled by whatever girl he was with at the moment, and despite what either of them would say, Liberty and Manny hadn't been friends for a very long time. And the bitter, cold truth of it was that Liberty had always been jealous of Manny, and couldn't forgive her for having things like boyfriends and romance come easily to her. It wouldn't surprise her at all if the other girl had 'forbidden' J.T. to socialize with Manny.

"What're you thinking about?" he queried as she came near the table, her eyes clouded over with her pensiveness.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just wondering why I haven't seen much of you until now," she replied, sitting down and opening her can of soda, shrugging. "I mean, this has been the first time we've actually talked in a couple months now."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess it is. We've just been busy, maybe. You with Craig and Emma, and me with Liberty. Maybe it's just the first chance we've gotten to re-connect, huh?" J.T. answered, smiling. "Anyway, I'm glad we've gotten to talk, at any rate. I just wish Emma was around too, and then it could be like kindergarten again."

"I swear J.T., if you put a worm in my hair, I'll punch you again," she jokingly threatened, laughing as she spoke. "Though I wouldn't object to digging in the mud again."

"Yeah, except Emma still would lecture us on how we were harming the earth, and she would report us to Greenpeace if we didn't stop," he recalled, laughing along with her. "Man, those were the good days. What happened to them?"

"I became a slut, you became Mr. Van Zandt, and Emma became psycho," Manny answered, but grinning in good nature. "In other words, we all grew up."

"Well, that sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does, I guess," she said slowly, sighing. "I do miss the days when it was just the three of us, or us and Toby. It all seemed less… complicated."

"Yes, but at the same time, it's been pretty fun," J.T. replied, and then took a deep breath. "Listen, Manny, what I really wanted to talk to you about was… well, giving me another chance."

"What?" she stared at him for a moment, not sure of what she heard.

"Listen, I know that we both just got out of a relationship, but it's been a little over a month and towards the end… I started having feelings for you again. I think that the last time we tried this, neither of us was ready. But now I think that if we tried, or at least gave it another go, we could really be something great," he said, a bit quickly and running his words together a little, but he looked at her steadily without blushing or backing down.

"J.T., I don't know if I'm ready to try to start dating again," she replied hesitantly, blushing a little.

"Please. I know I was an immature idiot last time, but we've both changed a lot since then, and I think… Look, Manny, I'm not asking you to get married, or be my girlfriend, or anything. I'm just asking for another chance. Go on one date with me before you decide anything. Please?"

Manny floundered for a moment. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed again; the day so far had been harassing, the whispers following her wherever she went, people coming up to her asking if what had happened Peter was true, if she had had him arrested, and a few asking if she was really pregnant with Peter's child. She didn't know who had started that particular one, but she had hotly replied with a few choice words, ending with a suggestion of a vacation to a rather hot underworld, along with a few directions on how to get there, and what to do both before and after arriving. This new development had thrown her for a loop, and she hadn't been expecting it at all.

And what of Jimmy? She still wasn't sure how she felt about him, even though when he had kissed her this morning all she had felt was a small twinge of fear, though what from exactly she couldn't be sure. Maybe this was what she needed. It was, after all, only J.T., and perhaps this was what she needed to snap herself back into reality. And hadn't she only a few weeks ago been thinking back nostalgically on her relationship with J.T.? Why not give this another chance. It could be good for both of them.

"Yeah, all right J.T. How about we meet at the movie theatre tomorrow night at seven?" she suggested, smiling weakly.

"What? _Really_?Okay Manny! Thanks," J.T. replied, looking stunned, as though he couldn't believe his luck. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, and muttered a curse word under his breath. "I'm really sorry, I have go to see Kwan about some assignments I've missed. I'll see you later."

As he left, Manny too stood up to leave, hating the loneliness the cafeteria gave her when she was alone. She walked out the doors and started to head to the library, when a voice rang in the empty hallway.

"Nice Manny. Real nice."

"Jimmy! What are you doing here?" she gasped, startled by the noise in the otherwise quiet place.

"Well, you see, I _was_ coming to find you so I could apologize for what I said this morning. But I guess it was stupid of me to think that it actually upset you!" Jimmy shouted, glaring at her. "I guess J.T.'s better at comforting anyway, huh?"

"Oh… you heard that?" Manny asked softly, unsure of why she felt guilt gnawing at the inside of her stomach.

"Yeah, yeah I did. But hey, whatever Manny. I hope it works out for you two," he growled, turning to leave.

"What's your _problem_?" she found herself exclaiming. "It's none of your business anyway! You're not my _boyfriend_."

"Because you didn't give me the _chance_ to be!" he yelled back, whirling around and stalking back up to her, drawing her close and for the second time that day, pressing his lips against hers. It was so much different from the first one though; this one seemed to last for days, and Manny felt her entire body go from the shivering, numbing cold temperature it had been all day to an overwhelming heat, burning up. Sparks flew through every nerve ending she possessed, and she felt her heart beat speed up. But even amidst the shock waves, there came that gripping fear that had seized her this morning. "You didn't give me the chance," he said much more hoarsely as Manny pushed him away, shaking.

"What the _hell_ Jimmy? What part of your brain thought that it would be a fantastic idea to kiss me again? Hmm? Was it the part that thought about how I didn't want you kissing me this morning, or the part that heard me agree to go on a date with J.T.?" she yelled, backing away from him. "I didn't give you a chance, and I'm not _going_ to!" With that, she turned and ran, the frightening sensation that had stopped her from fully enjoying the kiss laughing at her, turning her body cold again.

_---Scene Change---_

Jimmy went home after lunch. He couldn't deal with the confusion, anger, and most of all hurt, that was clouding his brain. He slammed through the front door of his house, slammed the door to his room, and threw himself down on his bed, staring at the ceiling and trying not to go insane. What the hell was wrong with that girl? He could understand if Manny just didn't want him, but he had been so _sure_. He didn't think he had misread the signs, or gotten any of them wrong. Jimmy couldn't convince himself that Manny hadn't wanted him to kiss her this morning; the way she looked at him had given him the confidence to just go ahead and do it. Was he really that blind?

Spinner hadn't seemed to think so. Maybe he had just gotten there too late. J.T. had seen that she was vulnerable and decided to take the chance and run – perhaps it had worked. He didn't blame J.T. for wanting Manny to be with him, but he wanted to pound the little squirt just the same. He sighed, leaning his head back on the pillow. What was going on? He couldn't make sense of it, no matter how hard he tried. After all, he had been on his way to apologize when he sees Manny accepting a date from another guy.

It wasn't that he thought he _owned_ her, or even that he thought he was her boyfriend, as she had shouted. But the thing was, he had wanted to give it a try. He thought that the two would have a good chance of making it, or at least having a good run, if it turned out they weren't supposed to stay together. And she had seemed to think so too, at least a month ago. Maybe too much time had gone by.

Maybe girls were just crazy.

Jimmy groaned again and shoved his head under the pillow. He didn't want to think anymore.

_---Scene Change---_

Manny was like a zombie for the rest of the day. She barely paid attention to any of her classes, and finally begged off sick around fifth period with a nauseous stomach. The walk to the Nelson-Simpson house was a short one, but it seemed to take forever. She couldn't think.

The way her body had reacted to Jimmy's kiss confused her. It had been such a long time since she had been physically attracted (and yes, she could admit that the physical longing _was_ there) to someone – even the initial "Lyk OMIGOD he's sooo hawwwwt" with Craig had died down quickly, once she got to know his personality. The way his kiss had sent her body aflame intrigued her. But the fear that gripped her whenever they got close was enough to hold her back. Besides, she had already agreed to a date with J.T. True, a date she didn't even want to go on, but she had made a commitment, and she couldn't break it.

Hell if she didn't want to, though. Ever since Jimmy's kiss, she had been in a whirlwind. She was furious at him, but then, he had said he was coming to apologize. She only wished he had gotten there first. And she found herself wishing that it was Jimmy she was going to the movies tomorrow with, not someone she thought of as a friend, if that. What was she supposed to do, though? She had already left J.T. for someone else once, and she couldn't do it again.

But then again, why not? It was early on… And really, it wouldn't be fair to J.T. if she dated him when she really wanted to be with someone else. It would be better to nip this in the bud then it would be to lead him on. Right. So how would she go about doing this? She reached for her cell phone, dialed six numbers, then deleted them. How _would_ she do this? _Sorry J.T., but I can't date you because you kind of creep me out._ No, that would be just plain cruel, if not just the tiniest bit accurate. _Here's an idea Manuela, stop stalling!_

Feeling chastised by her own conscience, she picked up her cell phone again and hit speed dial this time so she didn't have a chance to chicken out. A ring, another, and then J.T.'s voice. "Manny, hey, what's up?"

"Listen, J.T., I think I was wrong to agree to go out with you. I've been thinking about it, and… well, I just don't feel that way about you. I'm really sorry, but I don't want to give you false hope," Manny said quickly, afraid she wouldn't be able to get it out if she waited another second. There was silence on the other end of the line. "J.T.? Are you there?"

"Yeah… I wish I could say that I wasn't expecting this, but I was. It's Jimmy, isn't it?" he asked, deadpanned, his voice holding little emotion.

"No, it's not just him, it's hardly him at all. I just can't deal with _feeling_ right now. And I don't need anymore guilt or anger in me than I already have. So I'm sorry if I've hurt you, but I guess I have to be selfish right now, look out for myself," she said softly, trying not to cry.

"I understand, I really do. And I'm not mad. I'd rather you be honest now than three months from today; it'll give me time to move on again," he replied, before adding, "listen, I have to go. I'll talk to you… whenever."

The line went dead, and Manny sighed. One thing down… one to go. She pressed another button on her cell phone, and heard the voice she'd been both longing and dreading to hear.

"Jimmy, hi. It's Manny."

"What the hell do you want?" came the rough answer, one that was full of held-in anger and the tiniest hint of after-crying hoarseness.

"Listen, I talked to J.T. – "

"Congratulations. Listen, this isn't a good time, I'm really busy," he said, lying on his bed at the other end of town, trying not to feel emasculated after crying for the last half hour.

"Well… can I call you back later maybe?"

"I can't stop you. But I probably won't answer. There's only so much 'Fun With J.T. and Manny' I can take in a day, and I think you filled your quota earlier," he said a bit meanly, before slamming down the phone.

Manny pressed the "END" button on her cell phone and sat down on the cot in her room, staring at the wall.

It really was hard to be alone.


End file.
